NLP Technique For Receiving Criticism [All Steps]
Have you ever received harsh criticism, and is it still difficult to deal with? Do you think there will be another such moment in which you want to be prepared to receive criticism? You can use the following exercise to erase its negative effects.
This exercise for learning to deal with criticism was developed by Steve Andreas
Steve Andreas invented this technique. Below are the steps for this technique to learn how to deal with receiving criticism.
There is no one in the world who is merely praised or merely criticized. Criticism is normal and unavoidable. If you are open to criticism (or praise), it means that you have forgotten your enlightened nature.
The exercise: responding to criticism with dissociation
Let’s take a look at this strategy developed by Steve Andreas for dealing with criticism.
- Choose a context and person in which receiving criticism would be very difficult (past or future).
- The first part of the strategy for responding to criticism is dissociation (third person position) because it is less emotional and intense (coach calibrates as always! And he can anchor the dissociation so he can bring the client back into it if needed) . So see yourself receiving the criticism from the critic, while maintaining the dissociation. There is a thick plexiglass wall between you. Or a window, or something else that you improvise with the help of submodalities .
- So you look at yourself dissociated. The version of yourself that you see there is going to teach and show you how to receive criticism. You keep your distance, observe and learn.
- As soon as the criticism starts, you will dissociate yourself again (now we are 2 levels dissociated) in the way you want: separate yourself from the critic once again based on another dissociation element, for example by making a film of it or plexiglass / canoe / strip with speech bubbles. So this is a double dissociation: you look at yourself, who is dissociated and you look at the critique event like a movie.
- See yourself completing the film by asking the critic about missing pieces so that it becomes a detailed film.
- See yourself asking for the critic’s movie. See yourself comparing the 2 films, your film and the critic’s film. See yourself asking for extra information from the critic and supplementing your own film.
- Now see yourself choosing an appropriate response in that situation, based on the evaluation of those 2 movies. What about the interaction between these 2 people, you and the critic? See yourself giving that appropriate response.
- Could you conclude that you should change your behavior in response to that criticism / discovery of the critic?
- Is the version of yourself you see satisfied, or does something need to be done according to him or yourself as a viewer? (ecology check).
- Raise the Plexiglas screen in front of you and let the version of yourself you just viewed come closer and closer to you (coach brings hand closer to client) to teach you what he knows now. So it is you reuniting with you. The client brings with his hands the ‘you’ who have just learned to deal with criticism, along with everything he has learned about asking questions, making the film and responding. Let it fully integrate so that it is there from now on.
- Future pace, and all other standard things after an exercise.