How To Apply NLP? 16 Practical Tips [Easy!]
How can you best learn to apply NLP in everyday life? For example, if you have been learning it in a training or practice group? Here you will find the tips on how to progress the fastest and not fall into the pitfalls. Read further…
Tip 1 – Start a practice group yourself
What helps you best in your development with NLP? It is not the training you are going to follow or are taking. Nor is it the choice of the best teacher or the best training institute …
If you manage to gather the best practice group around you that you can find, you will progress the fastest. In a good practice group, the program is consistently and enthusiastically followed: presenting structured steps of a technique, and then practicing the technique.
Tip 2 – Do not let your practice group lapse into a discussion group
For this tip, it is useful to appeal to your male energy … A good exercise group is not a support group .
There is a great temptation to elaborate on your ‘relationship with money’ and the motives of your youth. But that’s not what NLP is about. In NLP this is sometimes called ‘the seduction of the content’ . NLP is not about the content but about the structure: which patterns can you notice in another person?
The content is not important during a training or exercise group. The structure and the techniques are. And the handy thing about NLP is: you can perform all techniques without having to include the content.
Oh, did that happen in your childhood? With me too. And my relationship with money was really bad. I was also always hampered by my environment and I also felt very out of my power … oh, it’s been time I see. Too bad … Well, until next week then …
If you want to ‘stand in your power’ and ‘stay with yourself’, you can also go to the first best manifestation girl or make a separate appointment while enjoying coffee and cake. You are more than welcome to do that and reserve the practice group for developing NLP skills and actions.
Tip 3 – Don’t over-psychologize
NLP is not psychological rocket science. It is not the intention to think deeply and talk about your motivations, your past and ‘your relationship with money’. NLP is about action in the now. What is step 1, what is step 2, what is step 3 … give concrete feedback and continue.
If you want to get your bearings or work on your own deep themes and challenges, see a psychologist or coach and keep it separate from gaining new NLP skills.
Tip 4 – Practice in conjunction with consistently good feedback
Practice with the NLP models. That is the way you make flight hours and go from consciously incompetent to unconsciously competent . Observe yourself for feedback (or observe yourself from the third observing position) and set a goal for the next time afterwards .
Tip 5 – Practice all models at least twice as ‘programmer’ during your NLP training
During your NLP Practitioner Training (this is the basic training), you are invited to practice all models at least twice as a ‘programmer’, or coach.
After your first time, you will receive feedback and set a goal for what you will do differently on your second time. During the second time , you let your observers focus only on your goal : their feedback is specifically focused on that the second time.
In addition, it is recommended to write down how you reacted (what you said or did) in a particular exercise, and to write down afterwards what else you could have done to do the exercise even better.
Tip 6 – Just remember the difference that makes the difference
Don’t learn everything. There is a reason that in an NLP course you only learn seven metamodel patterns, ten submodalities and five reframing techniques – instead of all hundreds of patterns: Those most effective patterns are more than enough.
All techniques are worked out in detail in syllabi and on this website. This only serves as reference material, because in practice you only need to remember one or two steps of each technique: the most important steps that make a difference.
Always ask yourself: what is the core of this technique? Do we rehearse an achievement simply by visualizing it? Are we picking up the lesson that can be learned from an old emotion? Are we mixing up some submodalities ? The rest is detail work.
Tip 7 – Coach people
NLP has more applications than just coaching, but coaching people is one of the best ways to master NLP techniques, such as rapport and visualization, even better. Set your price and let people spread the word about you and you will soon have a long waiting list.
Tip 8 – Coach people informally
All formal NLP techniques can also be incorporated informally in a normal conversation. The wonder question – in combination with the milton model – is a good starting point for this.
- ” What if you thought of a situation where you felt confident? You’ve had such an experience, haven’t you?”
- Instead of saying, “Bring this resource to the now,” you can go about it more informally by saying, ” What would it be like to have this resource now?”
- Does anyone dread making a phone call to sell something? “So you feel hesitant to call Fred. Who did you call the other day about which you felt a lot of enthusiasm?” “Piet.” “Okay, great! How is calling Pete, now that you think about it, (exactly) the same as calling Fred? And what else? In what ways are these two situations very much the same? your experience is happening while I am asking this question. ” Indeed, that looked like a mapping across technique.
- ” If you could make this change for yourself, so you could stop making that one change already, and see yourself now, do you like the way you look?” Indeed, with this you can have someone do a swish informally .
- “How would it be if you made those changes … now … in the future … as you look back and see what it was like to have that problem, thinking about it here, now, as you in this room? ” “I wonder what it would be like …”
- “If you will have already received the lessons from that one problem you had, which of the new possibilities would make you happiest now that you think about it?”
Also presuppositions are an intervention in itself:
- “Since you are already a person who has the capacity to change behavior, imagine how easily it can happen for you to change your behavior and achieve your desired weight.”
- “While you allow your senses to work more effectively, what is the world like now?”
- “I wonder … is the ease you will experience doing your administration something you have experienced before?”
- “After you have experienced ease and pleasure doing your administration, will you feel surprised or proud?”
Tip 9 – Learn to apply NLP by practicing with fun games
For example, I wanted to practice the milton model . What did I do? With my practice group, we sat in a circle and everyone took turns saying a hypnotic sentence, based on a pattern from the milton model. With eyes closed and out of mind. During a break I peeked into what cartridges I hadn’t used yet and I started using them in the next round.
Another nice game form, for example, is that you are going to build a story by adding a sentence in turn, where each sentence must contain a pattern from the milton model.
Tip 10 – Finished an exercise early? Then don’t take an extra break
If you finish an exercise extra quickly during a training day, you can do the following, for example:
- Think about what other NLP technique might apply to the case and test it out.
- Do another round exactly the same.
- Add a logical level to the exercise. For example, was it the exercise to set an intention? Also mention each other’s intention: how well have you listened to each other?
- Upchunk and downchunk : what beauty will you get from this? What is an example of this?
- Future pace
- Find Even More Resources: When in your past did you show that?
- Come on … enjoy the sun.
Tip 11 – Meet one-on-one to practice
When I wanted to practice the milton model, I asked in NLP Facebook groups who wanted to meet me one-on-one – via Skype or in person. I announced. The result was that I had seven excellent practice sessions in seven weeks.
Tip 12 – Apply the power of the small step: use this brilliant approach to learn NLP …
Remember the power of the small first step ? Sometimes the biggest way to get big is to start small. So: practice. How do you exercise? By feeling free to limit yourself to a small portion of the lessons. Knowing that you will eventually end up with the rest.
Sometimes the biggest way to get big is to start small. If you want to do something in general, you get nothing. But now if you limit yourself to a specific taaplatron and a specific interaction, you can grow. That way you can make it your own.
How do you do this practically in your daily life? List NLP techniques in places where you interact with people a lot. For example with your phone! Then you choose one technique every day to apply.
You have to start somewhere . We were all born somewhere .
“Today I am going to pay attention to predicates during this conversation. Or reframe. Or negotiate with sharing. Or today I am going to ask metamodel questions. Or today I am going to write down all the words of value (criteria). Or today I am going to pay attention to meta programs. Or. I’m going to follow the speed and lead. Or I’m going to watch eye patterns today … “
In the coming weeks we will be working on it one by one. So we can make it our own. Technology for technology …
Tip 13 – Do not confuse your NLP training with coaching
Training is training. So make sure you don’t develop too much intention to solve your own personal problems with the training. For this, taking coaching is suitable, not training.
An NLP training – and an accompanying exercise group – is not a discussion group, no therapy and no coaching . You are there to learn to apply new skills . That is something else entirely.
Tip 14 – Apply all NLP techniques to everything
Which NLP technique should I choose for a particular case? Everything. It doesn’t matter what you choose. Of course, one technique is more suitable than another, but they all do something good. They all provide movement.
Use any NLP technique for any purpose. Experiment and make mistakes . Don’t dwell on the familiar.
In the early years of NLP there was a group of people who were very close to each other. Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Robert Dilts, Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Judith DeLozier, David Gordon, among others. And they discovered new things on a weekly and daily basis. How?
- They applied anchoring to everything . They did not know the limits of it.
- Or they thought: let’s reframe everything !
Now we pretend we know what anchors, strategies and reframing are for, but then they thought, “Let’s do everything with anchors!”
That is a very interesting approach! Do apply the techniques one by one so you don’t get overwhelmed. See one of the previous tips.
Tip 15 – Start a Facebook challenge
Find a Facebook group around NLP. In the Netherlands there are currently three large NLP Facebook groups. Present a challenge based on the above tips and encourage others to participate in your challenge. Such a challenge could look like this, for example:
- Day 1: Today you only apply pattern breaks to anyone you meet or speak on the phone today.
- Day 2: Today you only apply assumptions to everyone you meet or speak on the phone today.
- Day 3: Today you will notice and soak your beliefs.
- Day 4: today you will give space to parts and possibly even integrate them, wherever you hear them.
Maybe you will start a year-long challenge: let it be dedicated to an NLP technique every week, for a year.
When I posted an NLP challenge in an NLP Facebook group, my text was as follows:
I start with a personal NLP challenge. Anyone who wants to participate is welcome.
This week’s challenge is as follows:
Pay attention to the predicates in any conversation you have this week. For example, if you hear a number of visual predicates in a row (“Brilliant that you are calling me now, now that I have a problem staring at me in my face. Look, I mean …”), answer back with visual predicates (“Indeed , I always keep an eye out for you. Let’s take a look at your problem and see what you mean. “). If the other person adds a kinesthetic predicate to it (“Thank you, I always feel you in my heart”), you also respond with a kinesthetic predicate (“I feel you. I will of course never ignore you.”)
Pro tip: the simpler, the better. Just stick with it, “I hear you,” “I feel you,” and “I totally see what you mean.” You don’t necessarily have to come up with or remember all kinds of creative predicates.
Good luck this week and read the background information about this weekly challenge below!
– Background information about this challenge –
Remember the power of the small first step? Sometimes the biggest way to get big is to start small. So: we are going to practice. How do you exercise? By feeling free to limit yourself to a small portion of the NLP lessons, knowing that you will end up with the rest.
For example, what can you do in practice to apply and practice NLP in your daily life? List NLP techniques in places where you interact with people a lot. For example at your telephone. Then you choose one technique every week to apply. See above what the technique is for this week.
“This week I’m going to pay attention to predicates during all interviews. Or reframe. Or negotiate with sharing. Or this week I’m going to ask metamodel questions. Or this week I am going to write down all the value words (criteria). Or this week I’m going to watch meta programs. Or I will follow the speed and lead. Or I’m going to pay attention to eye patterns this week… ”You can also apply all formal NLP interventions in an informal way, such as changing beliefs, change personal history and the phobia process.
I will be working on it one by one in the coming weeks. So we can make it our own. Technology for technology …
And what if you don’t know this week’s technique yet? If you hook up with this challenge without having learned all the techniques? All the better! Especially if you have never done the technique, this is the best way to learn the technique. If ‘connecting the dots’ happens afterwards, you have had the optimal learning experience – from your own experience and experiments.
So … apply this week’s challenge to every conversation and let me know about your practice experiences with this week’s challenge!
Tip 16 – Have an active attitude
NLP is a soft skill. And what is a soft skill? Soft skills revolve around communicating, giving feedback, listening, body language, creativity, critical insight, solution-oriented thinking, stress resistance, emotional intelligence, dealing with conflicts, coaching, attitude, visualization, and so on. NLP is all about all of those things and is arguably the ultimate soft skill toolset.
Hard skills are, for example: accounting, sales, writing, software programming, and so on. Now it is not the intention that your soft skills will also fly ‘soft’, by hanging on the couch and having a lifeless conversation with someone else, because soft skills would not be ‘real’ skills.
When you apply NLP, you are active with your whole body.
A party is simply not a sad affair.
A date is not a platonic affair.
And NLP is not a passive affair.
If you are going to practice NLP in a practice group, don’t sit back and shout in an uninspiring voice: ‘Okay, feel your enthusiasm and confidence increase. Imagine there is a timeline in space. In the meantime I am sitting here doing nothing, but that doesn’t matter. ‘
NLP is largely about generating moods. And if you’re guiding someone else into a state of mind, you can passively push the instructions of the NLP techniques – and nothing will happen.
If you want to arouse moods in others , do so with emotion, gestures, an active, dynamic voice and actively choose words that appeal to the imagination – imagery – and thus help arouse a mood.
Tip 17 – Play with NLP … literally!
According to my teacher Peter Dalmeijer, NLP is too beautiful not to play with it. That is why he developed The NLP Game.
Have fun exploring!
These were all the tips and pitfalls that you are now aware of in order not to let your valuable NLP study time pass into a support group where little happens.
To your success!