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122 Best Comebacks In Any Situation [Best Examples]

122 Best Comebacks In Any Situation [Best Examples]

What are really good comebacks for every situation in which you are provoked and tested by someone? Everyone is provoked and tested in different contexts of life. In this article, you will therefore learn the best comeback principles so that you can win every situation, show muscle and lead. We will do these comebacks with powerful reframing techniques. Read further…

Contents of this page:

Why is it so important to come up with good comebacks?

Do you have a minute? Humorous, intelligent, warm comebacks are hugely important for the following reasons:

  • You show with strong comebacks that you are not clingy and slimy .
  • You show that you are not a pleaser.
  • You show self-confidence with this.
  • It’s incredibly charismatic.
  • You actually have your own standards .
  • You get into the head of the other person, instead of the other way around. You control what the other thinks, thinks and feels.
  • You can deal with haters through this.
  • You become an authority in the eyes of your audience / customers.
  • You become attractive to your date.
  • You show that you will not be challenged.
  • You show that you are socially intelligent to pass the tests of others.

Before we get to the comeback tips: a word of caution

making comebacks in love

DISCLAIMER: Really apply comebacks with warmth , love and a wink . Especially in flirting contexts, the intention of comebacks and deframing is not to be dominant in a wrong way, but in a fun , pleasant way. Make absolutely sure that you are socially intelligent enough to understand that you should do this with a warm smile and overly ‘know-it-all attitude’ for the comedy – and that some examples are only for people who have been dating for some time. Everything here depends on the tone and the feeling. We disapprove of narcissism and gaslighting and we want to achieve the opposite, cheerful, charming effect .

Now let’s take a look at the best tips for making good comebacks when someone is challenging you – be it in a friendly, corporate, hostile or dating context.

Everyone wins. I don’t do something unless everyone wins.

Tip 1. Do you want good comebacks? Then use your vision charisma

Be charismatic. Then you are by definition not being defensive – and that is what you want with comebacks: not having to defend yourself. So what is an important quality of charisma that is useful for comebacks? Stick to your vision.

Do you have an opinion? Don’t change it. For example, your no remains a no. Solid. You are not a plaything of the other person who has you completely under his / her control? And what feeling do you have now? How do you feel now? Stick with that feeling. Here you will find all 31+ best charisma tips.

Tip 2. Use the: ‘your limited worldview reframing’

World model rethinking is a simple and powerful technique. This comeback technique is often used in the debate ring. You probably recognize him, for example when a politician says on a talk show: “You can think that.” 

  • “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
  • “That is indeed what you believe.”
  • When one of your jokes fails, you make it their fault that they don’t get it.

Tip 3. Maintain and project your positive reality

With this comeback technique you ignore the negative undertone of the other person, as it were. You keep starting from your own positive reality – and in fact, you literally project all your positivity, love and warmth onto the challenger.

Love your enemies. Be good to those who hate you. Bless whoever curses you.
Luke 6-27

How should it be done? You do this by only seeing the good. This is often used by intelligent people who are being interviewed by brutal journalists. Ignore the insult and just answer the question kindly, cordially, and completely.

Tip 4. Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing

You can expand the previous tip even further by giving it an extra positive interpretation. Misinterpret a sneer as something positive. As if the other meant it positively. Take an insult as a compliment. So: interpret ms (as if it were a compliment):

“I’m mad at you!”

  • Bad : “Why? What have I done? Or how can I make it up to you? What can I do to make it better?”
  • Good . “Nice, I like you better when you’re angry.” “Ooh, say something angry!” “Love you too!”

More examples:

  • The most simple and terribly effective misinterpretation comeback on an insult is: thank you! {Insult.} “” Thank you! “
  • You can also respond to any insult with: “You know me (already) so well!”
  • It just boils down to positively misinterpreting the sneer: “Ah … Love you too!”
  • “You think you’re a lot, don’t you?” “I can’t complain, and you?”
  • “You’re crazy.” “Pretty insane indeed. That’s just fine. Being normal is boring.”
  • “Ah wait, of course you mean that … {something positive}”
  • “If by inappropriate you mean utterly charming, then you are right.”
  • When they raise a turnoff, like white socks, “I did that on purpose, because I don’t want women who are shallow and turn off in white socks.”
  • “Are you on drugs or something?” Yes. The drugs of love. “
  • “Do you always do this?” “Only when I see a beautiful girl walking.”
  • “This is probably the strangest thing that happened to me.” “Because you are in love.”
  • “What was your name again? I’m so in love I forgot.” “Do you like honest men? Forgot your name.”

Tip 5. Misinterpret: play stupid

comebacks dummy play tip

Sometimes a logical and serious argument is just the weakest thing you can do because it makes you very seriously defend yourself, which is exactly what the challenger wants …

So you have to go around their frame. Do you remember? These are all reframing techniques. A great way to reframe is to play dummy:

“Are you a player?”

  • Bad : “No, really not.”
  • Good: “Yes, I used to play a lot.” “Yes, full time, is it noticeable?” “If by that you mean I have to help you pick up women … sorry but I’m not going to do that for you. Didn’t know you were bi anyway.”

More examples:

  • “Wouldn’t you be better off trying it on those other girls?” “Good taste, do you have to ask for their number?”
  • “I really don’t come by to have sex with you alone.” “No silly. You also have to cook dinner. Haven’t eaten in a long time.”
  • “I don’t know …” “So basically you think you’re better than me.”

Tip 6. Never defend yourself, but accept and exaggerate (self-mockery)

Someone who is worthy does not have to defend himself / herself because this person knows he / she is worthy. He just is. End of story. So…

  • Shoot never on the defensive, explain yourself unnamed and never quite going counterattack because flirting is something sweet. For example, say something without logic, “Why are you late?” “Because I’m awesome.”
  • Is the other challenging you? Accept and overdo it. The easiest way to do this is to say literally, “Yes, and …” You can also apply this principle in other ways. “You’ve already made 4 bad jokes.” “First: I didn’t make 4, but 5 bad jokes …” Another example: “Did you smoke a joint or something?” “Yes, when I opened my heroin drawer this morning, I felt more like a joint.”
  • Offer only your apology if it is really necessary. Never doubt yourself.
  • If the other person gives you an exaggerated, cynical compliment, apply self-deprecating and relativizing humor by talking yourself down to the extreme. ‘Oh, it’s not too bad. I seem charming at the beginning but it quickly fades away. ‘ Or by saying, “I’m just an ordinary guy, nothing special.”

“I always take a little sniff.”
– Johan Derksen after someone provocatively asked him if he was on drugs.

Another important point of this tip is: you don’t owe an explanation. A simple “Yes, magic …” is sufficient.

“How many girlfriends have you had?”

  • Bad: “Oh, just a few. Maybe three or four or something?”
  • Good: “Just in the past few hours, you mean? I’d say three or four.” “I’ve never even touched a breast.” “I didn’t know I had to keep count – was that supposed to be?” “Women are not numbers to me.” “You’d be surprised how often I mess up.”

Remember, going the extra mile is one of the best ways for genius comebacks.

“Are you doing this with every woman you take out? Am I second best? Are you dating superiors?”

  • Bad: “No, only you. You are special.”
  • Good: “Oh sure, but you are the only one who has been crazy enough to actually fall for it so far.” “No, I’m just practicing on you.” “Yes, about a thousand or something.” “Yes indeed, you just fit somewhere in my diary full of women.” “Well, make sure you become 1st choice then.” “You know me so well!

“Do you think I’m fat / beautiful?”

  • Bad: “No, of course you are not fat. You are actually very beautiful and you can be very sure of that.”
  • Good: “Oh baby, you just about fill the whole room.” “There’s no other way to say this: You’re just gigantic.”

“Is that a pick up line?”

  • Bad : “Uhm no, really not. This was real and honest. I have no pick up sentences. You have to believe me. How do you get it if I may ask?”
  • Good : “Of course what did you think?” “I’ve been practicing all night before. Now it’s your turn” “Yeah, I was practicing it in front of the mirror all morning, but I’m still struggling. Can you coach me through it?” “Yup – okay, your turn now. Hey! Don’t deviate from the script.” (Pretend to read the sentence on your hand.)

“I think you are way too young for me.”

  • “Yes I agree, I secretly walked out of the daycare center today and then I stole my dad’s ID card to get in here.”
  • “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t use your age against you.”
  • “Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself … you don’t look that old.”
  • “Yes you’re right, you probably couldn’t keep up with my pace.”
  • “Mommy, take me to the ice cream man.”
  • “Oh, I’m 65, I just look young for my age.”

“I think you are way too old for me.”

  • “Yes, I can be your grandpa. With all my wrinkles.”
  • “You’re so young, you’re 12.”

More examples of self-mockery and putting yourself down as a comeback:

  • If someone criticizes: “Yes, that’s right, especially on Wednesdays.”
  • “Yes, we do have the worst customer service. That’s a bonus you only get with us.”
  • If someone asks for extra explanation while your action was clear enough … then also: don’t explain yourself: “That is asking for the known way.”
  • “I’m too shy. I’m shy. I never go out and never talk to women.”
  • “I’m really good at getting rejected. I’ll try again in 10 minutes.”
  • “You are the worst Bram I know.” Not only am I the worst Bram you know, I am the worst at all. “
  • If you’re wearing a pink shirt and everyone calls you gay, “Well, I went with two or three guys and now everyone thinks I’m gay …”
  • “Someone insinuates you have a small penis.” “One and a half centimeters of pure steel.”
  • Play ‘claimy’, extra exaggerated. Intentionally exaggerate all the wrong ways of this article on claimant behavior . Check out Arthur’s story in that article.

Tip 7. Never prove yourself and even see how you can enjoy yourself – so that you contribute

contribute comebacks together

Do n’t try to impress the other person in order to gain validation from a source outside of yourself. You are your own validation: you don’t care what others think, only what you think and whether you like it yourself .

Don’t make the outcome of an interaction or provocation important to yourself. Any response you give should be for the purpose of amusing yourself, not pleasing the other.

Don’t try to be funny or ‘witty’. Humor is unimportant. Communicating emotions is much more important.

Don’t try to win the other person ‘s approval or impress them by saying something “ funny ” or “ interesting ” in response. You just bring yourself and you are just yourself . Without moving a finger to come up with a ‘nice action’.

The correct attitude is: I don’t need anything – from nobody. I am completely happy: I have everything I need. How do I provide value to this group / person?

Care about them. You don’t need anything yourself, such as validation from others. You already have everything in yourself. Now that you know that you are already complete, you can give your attention to others in a wonderful way. So don’t let it be about yourself – but about the group.

For example, when you walk into a party, you can do so with two mindsets:

  • “They are all here to judge me! I am being judged so I have to prove myself to be positive!”


  • “I’m here to share, I’m the group! We all want fun. This is a partnership. We’re all on the same team! The team of joy. We’re stronger when our energies are combined. We can do it. We are awesome, we are going to share, we are in the same group. “

You are in your head because you let everything revolve around you. Stop thinking about yourself and become one with your environment and the people around you. Where do pain and fear of rejection come from? And that soft, indistinct voice with poor eye contact? When it comes to you! Forget who you are and share. Add to the vibe!

When it comes to the individual and their needs, the public cares.

So don’t hold on to your little image: “I’m cool! I am cool! I am cool!” To defend it. This ego is n’t even there, it’s bullshit. You can read more about this persistent illusion in this article about the ego.

You might know this quote from Fight Club: Only after you’ve lost everything, you’re able to do anything. If you have lost everything of the ego, there is nothing left to protect. Then you have the liberating, ‘fuck it feeling’!

So don’t try hard to improve your image. Let go and let it be about the group: be non-needy , magnetic, present mixed with the group: you are part of the group. Turn yourself off and become the group!

Let go, express yourself, share your thoughts and feelings uninhibited, and have fun.

Do you know what’s so special? You have repulsive idiots that nobody wants to deal with … and you have delicious idiots that everyone loves. What’s the difference between these two idiots? Exactly: ego. Be the idiot of the group without ego. Part! Act crazy! Party! So you can great help, improvise, flowen and have nice conversations.

  • If you act crazy without self-interest, people think: “I’ll let him in! He contributes!”
  • You’re acting crazy with self-interest – so thinking, “hmmm, hopefully you think this is cool when I act so crazy?” Then people think: “Wtf is this?”

So contribute! Share your energy. Don’t ask for energy, such as approval, where it’s about you. A very simple example of this is offering a kiss on a date. If it is actually an offer , it is delicious! But many people don’t offer it at all, just let it revolve around themselves: yuck! “Here comes the kiss … I must have the kiss … The kiss … here it comes …”

Thinking of yourself – your ego – sucks energy. From others and from yourself. We have to break through this. Get that weight off you. Don’t hold on to it more and more, but: fuck it.

Forget who you are and share!

To get back to comebacks , don’t try to prove yourself or fish for compliments. Such actions of yours should really earn others. So rather ‘downplay’ yourself as a normal person:

  • “I’m just a boy, nothing special, I’m shy.”
  • “Don’t worry, I’m charming at first, but that will pass very quickly.”
  • “I and you both don’t have to be here, you can go,” is better than trying to prove yourself in response to the other. “What am I still doing here? I don’t have to be here anymore if you take such an attitude.” “Well, maybe you should leave Marie. Because I am arrogant sometimes. And you don’t have to prove to yourself that you are experienced, I already like you and it’s OK.”
  • Also, you don’t necessarily have to answer the other’s tests. In fact: just let the other person figure it out for themselves! “Are you a nice guy?” “You just have to find out.”

Tip 8. Don’t please

Please don’t. So stand up for yourself and your opinion, even if it upsets the other person. Anything better than pleasing …

Be willing to say what you really feel and be willing to joke about what you find funny, without worrying about tricking people or not being liked. You will continue to give your love unabated and if they don’t need you, it’s big bye. Then I go to others who want me the way I am.

Say what’s on your mind without fear of rejection, because what does this secretly communicate very powerfully? Right: if you screw up, you can easily get another one. That’s why you don’t care about pleasing.

This is a rare person. You will receive immediate, firm, permanent attention – if you are always that way of course, which is highly recommended.

Never give others your appreciation from a position of weakness. There is no worse time to shower – for example your partner – with compliments than when he / she gives you the cold shower.

Let’s look at some examples.

“Can you buy me a drink / do this for me / hold this?”

  • Bad: “Oh, of course. No problem.”
  • Good: “I think you’ve confused me with … pretty much all the other men you’ve ever met.” “No.” “Yes, if you pay.”

“Aw, that was so sweet of you.”

  • Bad: “Of course, no problem. Anything for you.”
  • Good: “Don’t get used to it.” “It doesn’t get any better than this. You just peaked.” “I know, I’m kind of classy.” 

“Does this make-up make me fat?”

  • Bad: “Oh no, of course not honey.”
  • Good: “Then take off your clothes and let me have a look.”

You can find more about pleasure in this article.

Tip 9. Do the opposite of pleasing: deframing

deframing comeback

Deframing is a wonderful reframing technique because with it you almost knock over the frame of the other with a wrecking ball. You just get in hard with your own frame – your own reality.

  • Being willing to walk away or withdraw your attention and interest – and actually do so if the other person is clearly testing and provoking you. “I can also stop / leave if you don’t want me to make you happy.” Soon the other will call you back: “I was just kidding. Come back.’ “But what if I don’t want to anymore?”
  • Another wonderful expression of deframing is saying no immediately, confidently, lovingly and a little boldly . But really clearly no. So it is and it just will be. “Hmmm I don’t know if I can tonight.” Wrong answer. You have a cocktail with me tonight. I’m off after 10.”
  • Thanks to deframing you do not look for arguments to convince the other within his-her own framework: “I’m not sure if I want to / can go along.” Instead of going into it, say, “Take it or leave it.”
  • With deframing you actually let others behave exactly the way you tell them. Do you want to pick up someone and you get the response: “Did your friends tell you to do this or something?” Then you can turn that pretty harsh response into something sweet: “Did it occur to you that I’m talking to you because I think you look nice? Or are you so insecure that you think it can only be a bet? ” “Stop it and be nice.” “You really are such a little girl but you have such a big mouth all at once. You are not like that at all. Just be sweet and cute. Actually, you are not that mean at all. Take off that social mask. At a given moment … in our relationship … you have to eliminate that witch, and show the sweet princess in you. I know your black heart is beating, but at the same time I also know that there is a diamond in it. “
  • Deframing is simply: going for what you want, without there being any other possibility. Your reality is very strong. “Why did you credit me with a dance?” “Because I want it.” “Because I say so.”
  • Also deframing is ignoring the other person’s statement and making a meta-comment about this conversation. “Why does it feel like I’m talking to my future ex-wife?” Just make a mental note: never date this girl. ”“ Sorry, why was I talking to you again? ”
  • If the other person complains about something of yours, do it more. And then immediately move on to another topic.

More examples:

  • Meta-naming you ignore it for inappropriate: “Okay … I pretend I didn’t hear that – different topic.” “Let’s pretend we never had this conversation.”
  • “We’re going to do A.” “Then we’ll do B.” “Therefore.” “Just because.” “Because I say so.” “Because I want it.” “No discussion.” “End of discussion.”
  • “What a lie!”
  • The other says defiantly, “Are you picking up on me?” Then look at him / her like: are you 100%? “OK honey, just a lesson in social manners. A completely strange man comes up to you and he starts talking to you from scratch, and he listens to you. Do you think it’s because he thinks you are stupid, ugly,” “Stupid, or could it be because he’s trying to pick up on you? I don’t know how socially handy you are, because of course we only just met, but come on, take a chance.”
  • “Why should I listen to you?” Because I know what to do and if you listen to me, happiness will come your way. If you don’t listen, I will come that way and you should pay attention! No, you don’t have to do anything, except brush your teeth.”

Tip 10. Make a meta comment about the conversation

The great thing about meta comments is that you no longer have to go into what the other person is saying. You zoom in and says something about the meaning of the conversation, rather than an answer to the meaning.

  • What does that mean? 
  • Why do you feel the need to say that?  
  • You are definitely the funniest at home.
  • We’re not in high school anymore.
  • Ooh nice! A good comeback for a change! Well done! That was first class material!
  • Ohh! You are so bold / daring!
  • “Is that a challenge?”
  • “You have quite a strong personality. How did that develop? Were you beaten as a child? Don’t answer that question, I don’t want to know.”
  • “Come on, that’s nice so you get a plus.” “I think I was dividing the points here. Two minus points for you. For your fun, on the other hand, five points.”

Tip 11. Ignore the challenge & apply operant conditioning

Reward good behavior. Ignore bad behavior. Easy.

If someone says something that is not as sweet as a challenge, let us know:

  • Don’t start like this …
  • You started just as well …
  • You were doing fun …

Tip 12. You can even blame lovingly (!) As a comeback

lovingly accuse it as a comeback

Lovingly accusing is recommended as a wonderful flirting move anyway, but it is also a brilliant comeback.

“We’re not going to have sex.”

  • Bad: “Oh, but I didn’t think we were going to do anything like that.”
  • Good: “I think you should get your head out of the clouds, honey. Calm down tiger, we just met.”

More examples of sweet accusations:

  • “For girls like you, my mom always warned me …”
  • “(hand high) See, this is how much I liked you, and now it is (hand low).”
  • “Just because you have a beautiful face doesn’t mean you can lie.”
  • “Don’t tell me what to do just because you’re so hot. That doesn’t mean you can run over people.” 

Tip 13: Be extra ‘funny arrogant’ on purpose

When you want to make a comeback in flirting contexts, ‘funny arrogance’ makes a lot of sense. That’s the kind of humor that makes you pretend you’re an over the horse diva.

  • “If you think I’m going home with you tonight … that’s not going to happen.” “We’ll see, I’m quite charming.” “Then you should pay attention / we’ll see, because I’m quite charming.”
  • Play with the other person’s cards: “Good, now I don’t have to worry about you chasing me anymore.”

Tip 14. To highlight the absurdity of someone’s frame with acceptance

Just take a look at Howard from the above clip of The Weakest Link. He has a totally accepting attitude for everything the defiant woman says. He can come back much harder from this acceptance.

“Hypnosis is the work of the devil, so you are devils.” “I am secretly the devil after all. Did I accidentally betray myself?”
– Edwin Seleij

“What is your job?”

  • Bad: putting up a long and boring story about a crappy job. 
  • Good: “I clone people.” “I decorate women in pubs and light them up so I get their inheritance.”

Tip 15. Don’t be emotionally reactive, just stay unchanged

The best comeback? You don’t pronounce it, but you radiate it! Your state of mind remains unchanged. Don’t care what the other thinks about you – especially rejections. Boys / girls you want to flirt with are not scary. They are sweet. Don’t be afraid of rejection. And do care about the important things in your life.

Never take responses personally.

So you radiate it – and above all: radiate that you are not extremely impressed by anything. So don’t react too indignantly if the other person spontaneously undresses, kisses you or says or does something sexual. It doesn’t hurt you because it’s normal for you.

  • If your date makes a sexual comment that you like, don’t get over your apropos but stay unchanged in your vibe. Don’t change your mood. For example, do not react indignantly.
  • Does your date suddenly give you a kiss? The claimants immediately get fireworks and wedding tunes in their heads and get visions of what the two of you are going to do in the next six months. But the non-needy person is not impressed and knows: a kiss is just a kiss. It’s meaningful, but I also remember that pizza that’s in the oven.
  • If your date says something like, “You’re mine,” don’t respond with , “Wow … thank you. Me too! Let’s be together forever and get married!” Don’t be tempted by a simple action. Instead, respond subtly, for example with an approving: “You’re pretty sure.”

Tip 16. Just agree with the other person without any fuss

Sometimes it’s okay to just admit your weak action.

  • “I know, I know, it’s only going downhill from here. Next topic.”
  • “Yup, I don’t have an answer for that. Can we be normal now?”

Tip 17. Find an absurd reason to still be ‘right’

absurd reason to be right about comeback

  • “You are losing.” Maybe when we talk about who loses the bet, but when we talk about who has the most tiger nuts in their hand, I’m winning.”
  • Are you tripping, dropping something, or doing something else that is clumsy? Then be extra tough, look arrogantly at your nails and say: “That was my move.”
  • “We were both wrong. But you were wrong more!”

Tip 18. Bounce it back

  • “So you left your best friends to talk to me?” “Aren’t you doing exactly the same with your best friends now?”
  • “We’ll just meet amicably, right?” “Yes, that’s good. No worries. Hey, by the way, just to be clear: we really meet up as friends, right?”
  • “If we don’t match that much in that area, why would I still get 13 messages?” “You’re right … You seem like the type who gives up quickly.”
  • “You’re not listening to me.” You don’t listen to me.
  • “You’re not a nice lady.” You’re not a nice lady.”
  • “How long has your previous boyfriend lasted with you? If I don’t talk to you like that long.”
  • You’re too old. “” You’re too young. “
  • “Didn’t you know you shouldn’t play hard to get, with men who are hard to get?”

Tip 18. Use the criterion reframing

“Do you think I’m fat?” “That’s unimportant, are you comfortable with the way you look?”

Tip 19. What if … {solution of the situation}

The what-if technique is brilliant because it gets you out of everything. “What if we ran away together, and you sent a message to your friend saying, I ran away with the man in the red shoes.”

Tip 20. Use any other reframing technique

In this article, we’ve covered some powerful reframing techniques. Feel free to use any other reframing technique to dismantle a test / challenge.

Tip 21. Sarcasm as a comeback

Think about how you can use sarcasm in a positive way as a comeback.

Tip 22. Powerful and loving comebacks? We call that flirting

Flirting is a type of feeling with which you subtly express that you ‘get it’ and don’t have to defend yourself. Just the accusatory teasing is a wonderful form of sweet comebacks. Here you will find all flirting tips.

Tip 23. Have confidence: you don’t care what others say

have self-confidence as a comeback

Self-confidence means that you can do whatever you want without worrying others saying anything about it. This principle allowed Donald Trump to become president while by definition also had to get many haters to achieve that. Successful companies also know this principle: in order to win over their dream customers, they have to kick many others on their toes. Here you will find all self-confidence tips.

Tip 24. If you are not sure …

“Is that a trick question?”

Not recommended: classic insult comebacks (negative cynicism / sarcasm)

In this article, you have found tons of great comeback methods that boost the heat and vibe. In this last section we will discuss some of those bad , ‘classic’ comebacks that they use in rap battles and so on. These are not at all ideal to use as they are negatively sarcastic / cynical …

  • “If I had to give you a dollar for every smart thing you say … I’d be broke right now.”
  • “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”
  • “I don’t have the energy to pretend I like you today.”
  • “Actually I want to tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see your ugly face every day.”
  • “I never forget a face, but in your case I will gladly make an exception.”
  • “If karma doesn’t get to you, I’d love to.”
  • “I believe in boredom at first sight.”
  • “Abracadabra! No. You’re still a”
  • Woman to Churchill: “If I were married to you, I would put poison in your food.” Churchill: And if I married you, I would eat it.
  • “I’ll come back when you’re more grown up.”
  • “ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.”
Read this next:  Friendzoned? 5 easy steps to get out of the friendzone

Good luck!

About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!


  1. Man

    This post is priceless! Thank you!!

  2. Anonymous

    This is so good!

  3. Anonymous

    Bully: I’ve never seen anyone so pathetic.

    Me: Have you tried a mirror?

    • Anonymous

      that is so good

    • daniel steawrt

      thats so funny ha ha h ah ah

  4. sad

    omg i’m not getting bullied anymore by armful 😀

  5. Anonymous

    HOW TO SAY “I didn’t ask” IN FUN WAYS:

    Them: You know what, you’re such a ________


    * “If I wanted an ass’s opinion, I would have farted.”

    * Start looking around the room, look in your bag, pocket, anywhere, just to make it look like you lost something and are now desperately looking for it, and if they want to know what you’re looking for, say: “Sorry, I was just looking for where I asked you.”


    Them: “Nobody asked.”


    * “Shh, honey. the Adults are talking.”

    * “Your parents said the same thing when they saw you for the first time.”

    * “Why are you listening, then?”

    * “Just because you didn’t ask doesn’t mean you didn’t need to be told.”

    * “Dang, you can’t even remember what you did a few moments ago? Let me spell it out for you: Y. O. U. D. I. D.”

    (Or give a specific, detailed answer, like “Actually, according to _________ and this article of ________ on ________…..” etc.)

    (Thank you, Thank you. I’ll be here all night.)