Disappointed in people? Quite rightly so! [The shocking truth]
Are you disappointed in people? Would you like to find some more understanding about this feeling? In this article you will find tips, examples and sayings about disappointment and being disappointed in the world.
Disappointed in the world & the people in the world? Read along…
Are you deeply disappointed in people? For example because they broke promises or because they did something that went against your expectations? You’ll find recognition and encouragement in the following sections …
Poem about the hidden power of disappointment
Read the poem below by Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
Because of the fullness of what I had
All that I have seems void and vain.
If I had not been happy, I were not sad,
Though my salt is savorless, why complain?
– Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Do you notice anything from the above poem? Without disappointment, no happiness. So keep opening yourself up to possible disappointments. Take the risk of being disappointed, because then you can also win a lot of luck. More tips about this principle of risk can be found in this article about vulnerability.
Disappointed in your partner
Do you feel disappointed in love? This is quite common. And fortunately! “What! How dare you say that!” Calm down, I know you’re heartbroken, but I think you’re a hero. Have you already read the previous paragraph? You have opened yourself up to love, and that includes the chance of rejection and disappointment.
Without one you cannot have the other. You are a hero because you went for that one thing, because there are a lot of people who don’t even dare to go for love, because they don’t want to have to deal with the disappointment. I call that weakness. You have just been strong !
Partners are 100% sure to hurt and disappoint each other. This also allows them to know the opposite aspect of love.
Do you only want the love and not the disappointment? We call that conditional love. That’s selfish and we don’t even call it love. Choose unconditional love and accept the disappointment that comes with it.
Disappointed in friendship
Many people also sometimes feel hurt in friendship. Maybe you could be forgotten by friends. If friendship hurts you in this way, it hits hard.
But here too we come back to unconditionality. Also choose unconditional friendship here. You cannot expect your friends to do exactly what you want them to do. That is a condition. Go for unconditional friendship.
And yes, some friendships have to be evaluated and maybe let go. Maintain those few friendships that you find worthwhile.
Show that you are disappointed!
As you learned in the previous sections, go all out for the possibility of being disappointed. And if you feel disappointed once, let the other know.
Just keep it to yourself. Just tell your feelings. Don’t demand anything from the other, but do let them know your feelings. We call this nonviolent communication.
Expect that you will get very little from others
Don’t mind others disappointing you! It is normal. Who are you to wish that no one will ever disappoint you! Are you God? Does everyone have to do everything you want? This compulsion to control sooner or later leads to a burnout. Logical, because the work of God is very hard for a person.
In short: practice expectation management ! To be precise: expectations management for yourself . Don’t expect anything from others. They are not necessarily going to deliver you what you want. In any case, don’t assume that, because yes, you will often be disappointed.
Do you want to be happy? Achieve success? Want to experience adventures? You really have to do it yourself. After that, others may hook in and contribute, but you must first demonstrate that you can take responsibility for your own happiness and that you are willing to do so. Only then you gather people around you that you do not will disappoint.
People are totally incompetent
- Most communication professionals … are actually very bad at communicating.
- Most mindfulness teachers … are the most stressed out people imaginable.
- Most charisma trainers … have the charisma of a pit creator.
- Marketers are full of talk and expensive words … and end up just hitting the ‘promote post’ button on Facebook.
So please don’t be disappointed with your mindfulness teacher. Did you really think he / she was enlightened? Lower the bar.
And that’s okay. We pay coaches to sit and listen. Not for all kinds of tricks and magic. We pay trainers to do some fun energizer in the morning, draw a model on a board and then let us do an exercise. We pay marketers to hit a boost button on Facebook. Not anymore.
Many people just do not perform hard work
Marketing people …. creative people … but also other professions are known for their blah-blah promises without doing anything useful for you. Do not assume that when you pay someone a few thousand euros, that the other will seriously get to work for you. It often does not even have to do with wanting , but with ability .
The average person’s agenda is so full – and his / her head, for that matter – that most people don’t have the mental strength to remember that they have to deliver you something because you once paid them a few thousand euros. They put it off and / or force themselves to stop thinking about fulfilling their promise to you.
They just can’t. Full agenda, full head and on the verge of exhaustion. Well, and then they have to think about themselves. It no longer matters that you honestly still owe some of them.
Do you have 70,000 dollars to ‘invest’ by hiring others? Expect little results
Suppose you just started a business. You have just saved, inherited or borrowed 70,000 dollars. You might think: “Perfect! If I give that money to a marketing agency, they will ensure that my company will grow and that dozens of customers will be added!”
Hahahahahah hahahahaha ha ha haha haha hah aha ha hahahahahahahahah ahahahahaha (let me take a breath …) hahahahahaha hahahahhahahahahahah hahahahaha ahhahaha hahahahahah ahahhahahaha.
Do you know what that marketing agency will do with your 70,000 dollars? Create four beautifully designed – or not so beautifully designed – ‘landing pages’, choose a corporate identity consisting of salmon pink and pastel green, provide a ‘web text’ of three simple paragraphs and finally put a Facebook message live and then click ‘message’ boost ‘clicks, for which you can also pay 3,000 dollars extra per month.
You are sorry to have to inform you, but after the above activities we are two months further and that 70,000 dollars has really disappeared (in smoke). That marketing agency must also be able to pay for its office building and staff. 200 dollars to 300 dollars per hour is very common. They desperately need your 70,000 dollars for that. If you are lucky, the entire campaign has earned you an extra customer of 5,000 dollars.
Clever thinking: let others do the work and get rich in a magical way. But it doesn’t necessarily work that way. The most successful companies we know, such as Coolblue and Apple, simply started in a garage or attic room, in which the founders themselves were hard at work. All the blood, sweat and tears they put into their business would never have been there if they had thrown $ 70,000 from their savings into a creative desk.
I have never seen a bag of money score a goal.
– Johan Cruijff
Don’t assume that others are always telling the truth by default. And neither do you. We lie about 1.65 times a day. Don’t be disappointed when others lie. Unfortunately, it is normal.
And yes, people often make empty promises. Let’s take the example of creative marketing agencies. Can you find a marketing agency website where they promise to do mediocre work? No, but almost all of them do mediocre work. Nothing wrong with that – because there is a mountain of work with very few staff – but don’t fall for it when they promise mountains of gold and dozens of new customers.
People promise Michelin quality, but deliver a croquette from the snack bar
How normal do you think it is to get fries at the snack bar? With a croquette? Or to get a sandwich at Subway? Or a coffee at Walmart, which the salesperson takes out of a crappy machine for you?
We find the above examples quite normal. Fine right? Just a sandwich from the Subway. The salami is hard, the sauce is very salty and the bread is not fresh. Just eat normally. The average Dutch person also thinks it is fine to get a cheap coffee from a machine.
In the above examples we know what we get: regular food and regular coffee. We don’t go to a Michelin restaurant every day or every week. In fact, the street scene is dominated by cheap cafeterias and doner shops. Then let me ask you this question:
Why do we expect certain other services, such as marketing agencies, to get Michelin quality by default?
It makes perfect sense for a marketing agency to deliver mediocre work! In fact, many marketing agencies win assignments and then employ cheap interns or Fiverr employees from Eastern Europe to carry out your assignment.
Stop expecting Michelin quality from everyone. That doesn’t make sense, does it? And yes, I also think that those marketing agencies should not make empty promises, but we have already discussed that point.
People never give you back if you have lent them something
Borrowed a DVD? Borrowed a book? Don’t expect to ever see him again. There is something mysterious about the word ‘borrowing’. People forget to give it back and often they even find it – somehow – normal not to have to give it back.
In certain countries it is even generally accepted that you will never see your money again if, for example, you lend 10,000 euros to a ‘friend’. That just becomes an unofficial gift. So never lend anything. And never borrow a book, just buy it yourself. With a few bucks you save a sour edge on a friendship.
People submit financial claims to you
An example. Suppose Marie took out her cell phone, put a book on the table and then took a picture of the book. Two minutes later her self-taken photo is on her website.
Then you accidentally use Marie’s photo without permission on your website. It somehow ended up from a draft into the final end result. Mistake can happen.
Marietje may, however, submit a claim of thousands of euros to you. Of course Marie does that too. With a photo that she took in two minutes, she manages to earn thousands of euros.
People want to protect their smallest ideas and works. Justly. It’s good to protect original work . But be prepared that there are also people who are only too happy to exploit you to the fullest through the letter of the law if you accidentally make a small mistake without any harm.
Fortunately, we live in the Netherlands – you have to be careful in America. By the way, I realized that there is a greater claim culture in America than in the Netherlands, so don’t you dare to put that fact on your blog! 😉
Disappointed with volunteers? Let it go…
If you’ve been disappointed with volunteers once, take a breath. The association of owners of your apartment building? The coordinators of the religious group you belong to? The Red Cross? They are volunteers. Would you do better if you didn’t get paid? Let it go.
Scammed for hundreds of euros by a ‘training’? Sometimes you could have known …
Did you pay hundreds or thousands of euros for an (online) training and it was neither meat nor fish? Then take a closer look at how the trainer announced himself and how the course was presented on the sales page.
The following catchphrases should have made it clear for a long time that you were not really going to learn a concrete skill :
“I have immersed myself in training courses, seminars, podcasts and books for three years. I came across many tips in them. I will now share those tips with you!”
Two things are wrong with the above: this trainer has gained all his knowledge through secondhand advice himself – without any hands-on experience to really integrate it. Then you will hear all those tips, which makes it something third-hand.
Let’s take a look at the following:
“My achievements? Well, I attended a Tony Robbins seminar!”
If the trainer cannot name practical successes and practical experiences, you can also know that the training will consist of empty second-hand advice. And the fact that the trainer himself has invested thousands of euros in Tony Robbins and would like to call it that, does not change that fact.
In this course you will learn:
- Make choices you really want.
- Getting a more positive mindset.
- Knowing what your passions are.
Did you fall for it and did you sign up for a course in which you would learn the above things? Then you shouldn’t whine afterwards that you haven’t learned any concrete skills, because I really can’t get anything concrete from the above. It’s really your own fault …
“In this online program you will receive theory videos, audios and a workbook with effective exercises every week.”
I’ll tell you what you paid for: twelve-minute videos in which your trainer sits at a table and tells you wisdom. You get seven of these types of videos. It might as well have been an audio or a book, but it’s video because that’s what you’re paying for …
You will also receive a few audio files so that the value of the online training also increases and you will receive a workbook with … writing exercises! Indeed … you can write down your motives and passions. That you are not learning a concrete skill and that you are not actually going to do anything … well, you will.
Conclusion: Don’t expect too much from others & take responsibility for your own affairs
Stop expecting others to fix it for you. Show yourself that you are willing to do something if you want something. Then you may receive qualitative assistance from others.
On your luck!