The subtle art of not giving a f*ck – Summary & Best Tips!
Here you will find an extensive summary with all the tips from ‘The subtle art of not giving a f*ck’. Read on to learn all the important lessons from this book right away. At the end you will our verdict of this book.
The mini summary: Everything is okay
The book ‘The subtle art of not giving a f*ck’ can be summed up in one sentence. That sentence is like this: The world has always been f * cked, and that’s okay. Now let’s look at the comprehensive summary of this book.
Okay, then what exactly does it mean not to give a f *ck?
Not giving a f*ck doesn’t mean you’re indifferent. It does mean:
- Don’t mind being indifferent.
- Don’t care about setbacks when you have your goals in sight.
- Knowing what really matters.
- Knowing what’s more important than your own pride and ego, and caring about that, reserving your f * cks for that.
People who can do this say f*ck it to anything that isn’t important in life: they only reserve their f *cks for the big things that really matter.
What I find the subtle thing about Not Giving A F *ck is that this should not be done out of indifference. Where you can really feel Not Giving A F*ck is: being truly detached from ego matters and being absorbed in universal connection. Easy going, free and connected.
– One of the readers of this blog
Giving too many f*cks is a narcissistic illness
Giving too many f*cks about everything and everyone is a disease. Everything must always go exactly as you want and you must always be happy. You feel ‘entitlled’ to everything, whatever is the unhealthiest thing there is.
There is an important nuance: this does not mean that you do not show emotions. People who don’t show emotions are psychopaths. That is why it is also called a subtle art of not giving af * ck. This art is in the subtleties.
So: be sparing with handing out your f *cks!
People who hand out f * cks like ice cream at summer camp have nothing f * ck worthy in their lives to give f * cks about. If you consistently give too much f * cks to trivial things that bother you, like how fast batteries run out, those coupon dimes you can save, or rejection, then your real problem is … That you don’t have anything really important in your life have. See next paragraph.
Giving a lot of f * cks means that you don’t have anything really important in your life
Your real problem is, you don’t have anything more important in your life to give af * ck to. What most people, especially the spoiled middle class, see as life problems are just side effects of having nothing more important in life.
Tip 1 not to give f * ck – It’s okay if things aren’t going as well
It’s okay if things go badly and if we sometimes underperform … In some areas … that aren’t important. You can get slammed, and you can feel bad, and that’s still okay.
Tip 2 not to give f * ck – Take stock of your life and filter the most important items
Few things in life are really important. Have it clear for yourself what those very few things are in your life that are worth getting excited about.
Tip 3 not to give f * ck – Don’t feel double bad
Stop feeling bad for feeling bad: get out of this feedback loop of hell. “I feel bad but who gives af * ck!” Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience. Accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.
Tip 4 Not to F * ck – Be compassionate and humble
You don’t want to win and achieve but you can let go . This is an important aspect of giving less f * cks. Why? See next paragraph.
Tip 5 not to give f * ck – Giving a f * ck is counterproductive
- The more desperate you want to get rich, the less worthy you feel.
- The more you desperately want to be sexy and loved … The less sexy and loved you feel.
- The more you want to be spiritually enlightened … The less spiritually enlightened you feel.
Tip 6 not to f * ck – See the Buddha’s story: suffering is inherent in life
The story of the Buddha goes like this: He grew up in an extreme paradise full of luxury because his parents gave him everything he wanted. Then he decided to leave the palace and live in extreme pain and poverty. What did he realize? There was no difference. Life is suffering.
The rich suffer because of their wealth, the poor suffer because of their poverty. People without family suffer because of their family, people with family suffer because of their family.
Tip 7 not to f * ck – What pain are you willing to tolerate? Joy and fulfillment must be earned
This is important: what pain are you willing to tolerate? Joy and fulfillment must be earned. They are the people who enjoy spending days on end working unpaid hours for their dream, their venture. These are the people who eventually achieve it.
It’s the people who enjoy the pain in the gym who can join the triathlons. It is the people who enjoy making the long working weeks, who were able to climb sky high in the corporate ladder.
You cannot have the reward without the struggle. The victory but not the fight. Life doesn’t work like that.
The real joy is in the climb itself.
Eat your vegetables Your actions don’t really matter that much in the bigger picture. Don’t ask, How do I stop suffering? But why do I suffer? For what purpose?
Tip 8 not to give f * ck – Take responsibility and set boundaries, also in relationships
You have to take responsibility, but only for your own responsibilities. This is important even in a healthy relationship. A good relationship depends on how well someone accepts responsibility.
Set clear boundaries : “These are your responsibilities for your problems and not mine.” Don’t take responsibility for the other’s problems. Only for your own problems. If you do take responsibility for other people’s problems, then that is again the disease of entitlement: your only value is to make your partner happy or that your partner should make you happy.
Solving each other’s problem makes no one happy. You can offer help with the problems of others, or support the other while they solve it themselves, but only because you choose: not because you feel obliged to do so: ‘entitllement.’
Tip 9 not to give f * ck – No trust without conflict
Have a relationship with unconditional acceptance rather than a relationship where you are conditioned for the superficial benefits you get from each other. Have a willingness to give and receive rejection when necessary , even though you sometimes hurt the other person’s feelings The last person you want to censor yourself with is the woman you love
Without conflict there can be no trust. Conflict shows you who is unconditional to you. Nobody trusts ‘yes people.’ If two people who are close cannot state their differences openly and vocally, the relationship is based on manipulation.
Final Verdict – A clear, humorous and refreshing book
Read this book! It’s going to give you countless aha moments. 5/5.
This was the summary and review of ‘The noble art of not giving af * ck’. Let us know what you thought of it in the comments!