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Dealing With Difficult People: These 19 Tips Always Work

Dealing With Difficult People: These 19 Tips Always Work

How can you best deal with difficult, frustrated, mean, dominant, or angry people  around you? In this article you will find the conversation techniques for difficult people. Follow this step-by-step plan with tips if someone annoys you or is blunt.

Tip 1 – Put on your tolerant hat and get back to difficult people kindly

Tolerate everything as if it were going right through you and be loving towards this person. Read this article about acceptance .

Treat good people well. Treat bad people well too. This is how goodness comes about.
– Lao-Tse

Tip 2 – Is the other person constantly disagreeing? Then be one step ahead …

It is quite difficult to associate with someone – or to get cooperation – when the other person keeps bothering you. If you say A, the other says B.

What is the solution for this? Be one step ahead of the other. If you want A, but you know you’re dealing with a sleeper, say B. Or say, “I don’t think we should do A.”

What happens then? The sleeper will want A, purely because the other person is used to bothering. More explanations and examples of this principle can be found in this article about dealing with know-it-alls and this article about reverse psychology.

Tip 3 – Don’t take other people’s frustration on yourself

It is not your fault that the other person reacts difficult. If you think that, your ego is speaking. In reality it is because of something in the other.

Pity the wicked. You do not know what is in their hearts.
– Victor Hugo

Tip 4 – If the other person acts dominant, then you act just as dominant for a nice connection

Be as dominant as the other. This is the entrance for connection. Now the other thinks: “He understands me!” This is the power of rapport. This is how you deal with dominant people.

Tip 5 – Investigate the perception of difficult people

how to deal with difficult people

Ask yourself what is in the experience world of the other, what could be the cause of his behavior: maybe he is illiterate and was therefore difficult about that one questionnaire!

I don’t like that man at all. I need to get to know him better.
Abraham Lincoln

You will often find out that it is not personal. In fact, it never is. Learn more about this in this article about rejections.

Tip 6 – Chunk up to the other person’s intention

What do you do when you receive a mixed, perhaps somewhat mean, incongruent message? Chunk up to intention. You do that by asking, “What is the effect you wanted to achieve by saying that? What did you want to communicate? How did you hope I would respond? What response did you want?”

Note: this is a confrontational move that breaks your report . However, there is nothing wrong with confrontation. They are also sometimes necessary. By asking about the intention, you will at least have it clear to yourself whether the other person did it accidentally or indeed had bad intentions.

Tip 7 – Place a filter for yourself

You know, it’s really up to you to determine how much negativity you allow and how much energy you allow to be taken away – by difficult, negative and difficult people, for example. So be proactive and find a way for yourself not to be influenced by these types of people.

A good way to do that is to ask your subconscious mind to install a filter for all the negativity that comes your way from a particular person. It is very simple because it is a kind of unconscious intention. In this article you will learn how to do that.

Tip 8 – Take some breathing space after interacting with difficult people

dealing with difficult people

Did the other person feel uncomfortable? Then do the short exercise: “Breathing Space.” Breathing space involves three steps:

Step 1 –  Consider for a minute what it is like in your body: feel your emotions and your thoughts. Make an inventory of how it is now.
Step 2 – Now  focus on the breathing in your stomach for a minute.
Step 3 – Now do a mini body scanHow is your body now? You just have to register how it is now.

Tip 9 – See through the pain body in the other

When someone is complaining, there is something in the other that that person has completely taken over. You are not interacting with the person, but with the pain body of that person. The other person is constantly thinking up reasons to get angry and create conflict.

Tip 10 – Dealing with negative people? Follow first and then lead to a more positive focus

Are you dealing with a complainer with a fairly negative energy about everything he / she says? Let this person complain. Because of this you are ‘vibing’. You follow the person and then you can easily lead to a positive focus:

Is the other person constantly nagging: ‘I want to leave my work …’? First, use the rapport technique and some empathy techniques to follow, then use one of the questions below to guide:

  • What would be another reason to stay?
  • What has already gone well?
  • What are you looking forward to?
  • What gives you energy?

Tip 11 – Do not change your mood in response to a negative person

dealing with difficult people

Stay proactive , so your state of mind does not respond to a negative person. Is someone bothering or negative? Thank the other person without changing your state of mind and continue calmly with what you were doing.

For example, there is a political talk show on the radio where listeners can call in to talk. When the presenter gets on the line to a negative person who is just insulting, he says thank you politely and friendly and then quietly disconnects. Then he just continues with the program as if nothing had happened.

Tip 12 – Dealing with difficult people? Feel gratitude

Be grateful for everything that is going well and everything you have. Nothing can annoy you from this place.

Be grateful even for the difficult people themselves! They do us a favor by reflecting our own troubles (the world is your mirror ). Be grateful.

No one can take my luck.
– Tony Robbins

These were all tips (a kind of mini course) for dealing with difficult, mean or angry people. Take each tip really seriously and click through the links that you have always found with the tips to really learn the techniques. Good luck!

Tip 13 to 20 – Apply these 8 tips to let go of negativity

For the last 8 tips, see this article on how to let go of negativity.

On your luck!

About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!