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How do you ask someone out? 27 tips [guaranteed date]

How do you ask someone out? 27 tips [guaranteed date]

How do you ask someone out? In this article you will find the 27 best tips and original, fun phrases for asking someone out for a date. This could be a colleague or classmate or even someone you just met. These tips work for men and women!

Contents of this page:

Important: The very first tip of this article is enough for you

Although you will find a lot of helpful tips in this article to get a date guaranteed, you really only need the first tip of this article. The rest is focused on details.

Actually, all these tips are pure nonsense – and we just say that about our own article. The only reason these tips are here is because tens of thousands of people a month Google for tips to ask someone out. Well, please. Here you have them, even if you, seriously, really don’t need them! We do, because then we get more readers. 😉

Don’t focus on the details, just take action and learn from your own experience. Are you curious, just read and use all the tips of this article!

This is also the message of Mark Manson in the book: ‘Models’. He says you don’t need tips, howtos, tricks and phrases at all. You just need your sincere honesty to ask someone out.

Tip 1 – Use these two simple steps to ask the other person out

These are the most crucial and simple steps:

Step 1: Feel if there has been a spark between you

Obviously, there must be a spark between the two of you, otherwise it will be of little use to both of you. It won’t be fun and not exciting. There is a good chance that the other will say no.

Does this tip mean you should hardly ever ask someone out? Certainly not! This tip only protects you from a bad match and a date without sexual tension. What you should do is ask anyone you feel that a spark has passed!

Step 2: Now that you feel a spark, you can question the other in any way you can

Indeed, it is that simple: it does not matter how you question the other. If there is a spark, the other will almost always say yes.

It’s so simple that you only have to say a few words. For example, you only need to pronounce these words: Would. You. Like. To. Go. Out. With. Me? Done!

Especially for you, you will find examples of ways how you can ask the other person out in specific ways in the following tips in this article. Read along!

Tip 2 – Do not ask the other person for a ‘date’ at all, but let everything arise subtly

how do you ask someone from subtle

To many people reading this, it will seem incomprehensible that you are not going to ask the other person for a date: “I have to arrange a date, right? So I have to ask for a date literally, right?”

Of course you can. However, there is a more subtle way. That more subtle way also has a name: flirting . Because what exactly is flirting? Correct: being indirect and subtle. Because if you mention the word ‘date’, quite a lot of subtlety and mystery has been lost.

Get us right: Feel free to go the direct way if you want to – so feel free to ask someone out literally – and know that there are more subtle, flirty ways where you don’t ask the question literally.

How? By just meeting up once – and eventually more often – leaving it in the middle whether it is with or without potentially romantic intentions. And then on the date it’s just a matter of decent flirting, which you will learn in this article.

Tip 3 – Just be direct: it’s just a matter of asking the question

Because the direct method is also fine – but just a little less mysterious and subtle – we also teach you the direct method: don’t beat around the bush. Know what you want and just ask the question. Below are two examples of a direct way to ask the other out:

“I would really like to date you. When are you free?”

“Could I ask you out?”

And guess what … Nobody died! It’s extremely simple … Just ask the question.  This makes the other incredibly happy because the other can say yes and meet a very nice person (namely you). And you made yourself happy because you went for what you want with integrity and because you showed vulnerability.

When someone says no, at worst you’ve made the other (and yourself) feel incredibly good. So it’s not a big deal. Then keep asking others with whom you feel the spark until you succeed. Read more about this in the self-confidence article.

Tip 4 – The questioning may be awkward and exciting … In fact: too smooth is not real

how do you ask someone out

There will be tons of advice telling you to stay really cool: that you should ask the other person out as if you were asking someone at the table to give you the salt.

Sure, that’s good advice, but know it’s just as good to ask awkward and anxiously. Once the spark has skipped, that’s fun! You don’t hide ‘the real you’ with this and it creates a feeling of love for both of you.

Tip 5 – Think about discretion: not everyone needs to enjoy how you ask others out

Love and attraction is typically something that is meant to remain ‘secret’. Find a time and space to ask the other person out when no one else can hear. It is unnecessary and not fun for the other and yourself. Moreover, you show that you ‘get it’ and are not ‘blind in social situations’. Feel free to think of an (absurd) excuse to be alone with the other person.

Tip 6 – Go at each others homes

Meeting at home is a lot more convenient than literally going out. If necessary, do both, because it makes it all much easier when you meet. Because that’s what loved ones do. At home, romance is much more likely. So cook together, enjoy music, play a video game … all fun activities to do together at home.

Tip 7 – How do you ask someone out? Do not ask the other person out, but lead and find out what is happening

Asking out is something you can just do. There is nothing wrong with that! Also try out to lead – instead of ask – in order to get a date.

This is an example of a question to ask someone out:

What do you think about coffee with a nice guy?

This is an example of leading:

Come on, I suddenly have a brilliant idea: we’re going to get coffee together.
By the way, I’m going to invite you for coffee with a nice guy.
I want to have a drink with you and play Jenga with you.
I’m going to ask you out in a moment. Let’s get out on… and get a drink in…

Do you notice that it is not a question? Try it out!

Tip 8 – Always go for an ‘instant date’ in the first instance

Are you both now  have the opportunity to have a ‘date’? Then make use of it. You can immediately take the other person for a nice walk or coffee, instead of meeting on another day. This is also very spontaneous and practical!

It is useful to find out – before going for an instant date – whether the other person already has other plans or not. Then you have more information, so that you can present your proposal better.

If you ask, “So … What are your plans right now?” Then that may seem a bit harsh. That is why I recommend adding the word ‘anyway’. This is a magical word that takes all pressure off immediately.

What are your plans anyways for the next 10 minutes?

Once you know that the other is available, introduce the idea of ​​coffee or a walk. Make sure you don’t make it difficult: say it only takes 10 minutes because you have to leave afterwards. Consider doing this with a eureka look in your eye:

‘I have a cool idea! Do you know what would be cool? I know we just met very randomly, but what do you think about coffee with nice guys? ‘ And lead the other directly along. After all, you know that the other is now available.

‘I have a really cool idea: do you like coffee or tea? Green or black tea? Black coffee or latte? Let’s go!’

Tip 9 – In fact: just take the other person here-and-now aside for a nice chat

Why wait until another day or location for a ‘date experience’? You can also just have a nice conversation with the other person where you are now, in which you show interest and maybe even ask silly questions that show that you are interested in the other. Take the other person to a quiet place and you immediately have a kind of date!

Now you can immediately use all your charms! Do you feel a click in this conversation? Then ask the other person out for a more ‘official’ date. Make that date more active than just ‘having a coffee / tea’ and a conversation, because you have just done that. By the way, you can find date ideas here.

Tip 10 – Plant seeds about the date

how do you ask someone out

Do you want to invite the other person to your home? Then talk about your cooking skills, drink and music taste. Do you want to invite the other person for a walk? Then talk a bit about nature, gardening or taking walks. If you propose a walking date a little later, it is no longer a new idea. Read all about this technique in the article about priming .

Sketch the picture of how much fun it is with you and how much fun the activity is. You don’t want to sound boring. Hype it up a bit. Before you know it, the other person will even question you before you can do it. By the way, don’t wait until the end of the conversation, but weave it in the middle of the conversation.

Tip 11 – No one else dares to ask someone out: you have no competition … Take advantage of that!

Let’s put two truths side by side for a moment:

Truth 1: Hardly anyone dares to ask someone out. It rarely happens. So you have no competition.
Truth 2: Almost everyone who is single wants to be close to someone and date someone when a normal person comes along. So if you ask someone out, chances are you will get a yes.

So take advantage of this and take your chance.

Tip 12 – Telephone numbers cannot be kissed … First ask for the date and then for the number

tempt the other to ask questions

Telephone numbers are of no use to you. You can’t kiss phone numbers. Dates, that is useful! So don’t just ask for someone’s number, but ask the other person. After that, it is a logical next step to exchange contact details.

Tip 13 – Got a number? Send a text with the other person’s phone

This is a very nice and practical tip. Tell the other person to put your number in the other’s phone. This way you can immediately use your name and telephone number without errors. This is an excellent opportunity to make something fun of your own name. If your name is Pete, enter your name as follows: ‘Sexy Pete with the {enter something that refers to your conversation}’.

You then use the other person’s phone to immediately send yourself the first text message. This could be for example:

Hey, what a nice action that you spoke to me. I’m looking forward to our date! {Heart} ‘

You improvise a bit! In any case, this is a very nice way to immediately start the first chat contact and to have the contact details exchanged nicely and well. Then the other person does not always see you as an ‘unknown number’ on the screen. You can even call the other person on the spot for fun.

Tip 14 – Got a number? Do not leave immediately!

Start with at least one more new topic after you get the phone number. Otherwise, it just seems to be about the phone number.

Moreover, two minutes later, while you are still talking, you can grab your phone and send a funny / flirty message to the other person. The other person is still standing in front of you in the meantime. For example, it can happen that you send some messages to each other in this way while you are still talking. For example, you have already exchanged fifteen chat messages with each other and you are no longer total strangers.

Tip 15 – Make the date something small, fun and normal

“Ooh it’s a date …” You could avoid that feeling so as not to put unnecessary pressure on it. How? Let them know you just want to chill. Emphasize that you do not want to make it heavy and big, but that you want to convey a low-threshold feeling.

I really wanted to ask you out, but at the same time I don’t want to make it difficult. It is especially fun and when we notice after 10 minutes that it is nothing, we thank each other for the fun and we go again. And that doesn’t matter because I really enjoy it and that’s all that matters.

Tip 16 – If you want to call or chat a lot, make sure to announce that!

Today, many people find it scary to call because chatting has become normal. That’s why it helps so well to announce that you’re going to call the other person (if you plan to).

I will send you a nice text message. Not too sexual though. Just a little bit flirty. And then we go for a picnic in {place}.

Tip 17 – Ask the other person out when he / she laughs

The other person is much more likely to say yes if you don’t ask at a serious time, but at a time when you are both laughing hard. So do it at a peak.

Tip 18 – Do you have a reason for asking the other person out? (Qualification)

how do you ask someone out

Do I know why I want to ask the other person out? Am I just asking the other person out for no reason just because they are just someone of the opposite sex? That’s a bit superficial.

Make it clear for yourself why you are questioning the other, and if necessary, let the other know. Any reason is good, as long as you think it’s an important reason.

Is it the sparkle in the eyes, the radiant smile, the positive character or because you have not yet spoken to the other person but think they are very handsome? Perfect, but be aware of that and let us know if necessary.

You really connect deeply and well with everyone. I think that’s great. Can I ask you out?

You seem pretty cool to me so I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.

You are unexpectedly a nice girl, even if I didn’t expect that. What does your agenda look like?

‘You make me very curious about who is behind that smile that I like so much, so give me a call and we’ll meet … (bad joke is optional) … the three of us. ‘ The other: “What do you mean with the three of us?” You: “Well, you, me and that beautiful smile of yours.”

The flirt tips article takes a closer look at qualification.

Tip 19 – First find out for a moment what the other person’s plans are

When proposing a plan, it helps to first know if – and when – the other is available:

  • “What are you doing tonight? Good! Video games with me!”
  • “What are you doing for the next 10 minutes? Perfect! Come on, I want to show you a nice spot.”

Tip 20 – Use these sample sentences to ask the other person out

  • What will your week look like? Beautiful. Coffee with me tomorrow. You are a funny person and I promise you nothing more than nice conversations.
  • But seriously, we have to meet. You. I. Romantic date. When?
  • Imagine you and me on a date. With candlelight and shit.
  • Tomorrow will be your best night ever! Because you’re dating me of course.
  • How are you ever gonna make this up to me? Besides, I love homemade food.
  • We are going for a picnic! I’ll handle the wine and the candles, you the rug.
  • There is a geeky movie I want to see, but I need a nice geeky lady to watch it together do you know one
  • I made a promise to myself not to take phone numbers from women I met in a pub. But you are pretty cool: you make me want to break my rule.
  • What will we do this weekend?
  • Do you know what you and I are going to do this weekend? Something nice!
  • “What are you going to do on Friday?” “Nothing …” “What are you going to do on Friday?” ‘I’m busy.’ ‘With what?’ “I’ll have a date with you then.”
  • ‘You and I, mini golf, tonight. You’ll see shots you never thought possible. ‘
  • You are sick? Here’s the cure: drinks with handsome men named {your name}.
  • There’s a place called ‘Paco’s that has very good reviews on Google. I say let’s crash that place at 8 on Thursday and ruin their reputation.
  • “Hi Debbie.” “Hi Huub, how do you like it in my city so far?” ‘The food and the weather are really bad, but I met a nice blonde a few days ago called Debbie. I am quite enthusiastic about her. ‘ “Oh yes, tell me more!” ‘I don’t remember much, but she’s kind of funny, she works at MCI and she hates cars. Let’s have a drink tonight and I’ll tell you all about her. ‘

Tip 21 – Did the other say yes? Congratulations! Make it less difficult with a nice ‘distractor’

how do you ask someone out

A distractor is an extra statement that you make immediately after you have questioned the other. This makes it less heavy.

So you start by asking the other out:

Hey, I’m going to ask you out … Romantic walk. Tomorrow at 12.

And immediately add an arrester:

  • Come in sexy clothes tonight so we match.
  • Wear something red on Thursday.
  • But promise to behave yourself.
  • But you have to give me a present: I’m high maintenance.
  • On one condition: when you come, bring flowers and chocolates.
  • Let’s do something safe: soon you might be a psycho, and that’s the catch.

Tip 22 – If you get a rejection … Then move on to the next

Don’t measure your success by a yes or no. You have been successful if you asked the other person out, regardless of the answer. Don’t stick with that one, just move on to the next person.

It is also possible that the other person actually wants to, but is too insecure and shy to say yes. If you feel that a strong spark has been missed and you feel doubt in the other, you can still try to persuade the other one extra time:

  • I keep it from 6 years and up … And I bring my Bible and keep my hands in my pockets.
  • Ditch your plans, bring your plans with you. “Well, difficult …” “Take difficult too.”
  • A date does not want to say anything: it is just fun and cozy. At worst, we’re just having a good time together.
  • What is the worst that can happen: either we click and we have a super fun evening, or not: then after a few minutes we thank each other for the fun, we say goodbye and wish each other the best.
  • That’s not the worst idea ever, is it?

Here are more tips about rejection.

Tip 23 – Is the date only in several days? Sometimes ping the other person

how do you ask someone out

Great, you have a date now, but does it take a week before the date takes place? It could be that the warm contact has cooled down considerably. So sometimes send a ping. A ping is a text message where you do not expect or ask for anything from the other.

Let’s look at some examples of pinging:

  • Send a puppy photo: ‘Sorry, I have to tell you something. I am in love with someone else. She has just as beautiful black hair as you, but much nicer eyes.
  • Pinging is also sending pictures of what you’re doing: “Damn, my mom just made the best pizza ever.”
  • If you are in the supermarket and cannot choose between two juices, take a picture and send it to the other person: “Which one will it be?”

Tip 24 – Haste is rarely good

It can happen that something intervenes or the date forward should be. This also applies to second dates, third dates and so on. When this happens, haste is rarely a good thing. So don’t push too hard to a new date. Everything doesn’t have to be fast, fast, fast …

Moreover: if all goes well, you also have a super fun life in a date-free week. You shouldn’t necessarily want to see the other person as soon as possible, because that means your own life wouldn’t be that much fun. Just live your best life – because you don’t need anyone for that – and all dates in your life are a nice bonus.

Tip 25 – Cancellations are part of it …

If you make a normal appointment with someone, it is quite normal if 5 out of 10 appointments are canceled. This can also happen with dates. Someone may become ill or other circumstances may cause the other to cancel.

In fact, there is a statistically higher chance that the other person will cancel with dates than with any other type of appointment. That’s because you felt very emotional when you dated each other, while that feeling faded in the days that followed.

So it is never up to you. What can you do about this? In any case, make sure you apply one of the previous tips in this article, where you go for an ‘instant date’. In addition, it is good to lower your expectations. Even four or five cancellations in a row are possible. Be okay with that, get up again and keep going as a winner.

Tip 26 – You can first ask if the other person is single, but you don’t have to

You can see this as an optional intermediate step before asking someone out. You can approach it very simply and ask:

“Are you single / do you have a friend?”

This has created a direct framework after which you can immediately ask the other person out.

Tip 27 – And during the date? Do this…

With these tips your question: ‘How do I ask someone out’ has been successfully answered. You should soon have someone join you on a date. Also read the tips during the date.


About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!

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