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19 Best First Date Tips: Make Your First Date Perfect!

19 Best First Date Tips: Make Your First Date Perfect!

What are the best dating tips for the first date? In this article you will find important dating tips for men and women that make it really special. Read on and use the super tips below during your first date…

Tip 1 – Alternate space / distance with intense attention to each other

Just relax. Sit back for a moment. Just let everything happen. Maybe a casual compliment here and there and a  sweet touch – and then  just chill again.  Maybe even do something completely different. Anything is better than being soggy, constantly leaning towards the other and putting pressure on them.

Have fun flirting. Flirting, however, is not flirting. It’s a bit weird to string together all kinds of compliments in the first few dates, make a declaration of love and only have an eye for your date.

This is certainly not an encouragement to be narcissistic and to play ‘hard to get’, but this is an encouragement  not to stick around with the other person.  To take the well-known cliché metaphor, have you ever seen a cat play with a toy? The cat is intensely focused and very interested in the toy … but if you stop pulling the toy away, the interest will soon cease.

So give the other  space  during the date! Sometimes literally walk away and leave the other alone so that the other experiences space for a while. By the way, if you go a lot further away, it is very thoughtful if you sometimes let it know that you are on the other side of the date location. When you are close to each other again, be fully present with the other person!

I don’t want to use those awful words, but go ahead: it’s a kind of ‘push-pull / hard to get’ element… But in a very natural, fun, pleasant and even necessary way!

Tip 2 – On the first date, pretend you’re meeting an old friend

Is it one of your first dates? In fact: did you get to know the other through a dating site ? Then pretend you’ve known each other for years and met an old friend. Feel comfortable!

Tip 3 – Choose a perfect date activity… that goes beyond just talking

looking deeply into each other during the date

Where should the date take place? What do we do? Having a ‘drink / coffee / tea’ is one of the most common date ideas. Fine of course, but also make a really romantic move instead of just having a boring conversation.

Having a ‘drink’ is of course always fine because you are going to hang out together, but it  can be  quite uncomfortable as a ‘standard date’ in which  all the cliché questions about school, work and hobbies come by … without there being easy opportunities to get  physically to be with each other  or  to make deep connection .

The solution? Feel free to ‘have a drink’ and  break that pattern of a boring conversation.  You can do this as follows:

  • Offer the other to sit or lie in your arms .
  • Suggest walking to the cafe’s games cupboard. For example, extract Jenga and get to know each other while all the discomfort is magically absorbed by the game you are playing in the meantime.
  • Flirt – instead of just talking like friends – and take the other person to a discreet spot for a kiss.
  • Break that whole pattern of a ‘boring talk date’ by asking the bartender to put on a happy song for 30 seconds so that you can dance together crazy. So, the ice has broken and now you dare much more during the rest of the date.
  • Do a questioning game, where you also ask deep and emotional questions . This can be perfectly combined with a ‘coffee / tea’. The point of the questioning game is not to play a game. The point is to ask emotional and exciting questions, instead of just talking about school, work and “Do you have any hobbies?” Here you will find deep and emotional questions to ask each other.
  • Suggest that you just look each other in the eye for four minutes in silence at first , because then you really feel who you are dealing with.
  • Go ‘have a drink’ and add something more active. Use this article with 72+ ideas for fun date activities for inspiration!

Tip 4 – The other person already likes you: only be yourself during the date (important!)

When you go on a date with someone, the other person already likes you. Otherwise you wouldn’t have a date now. In fact, before the date starts, the other person is already celebrating you in all the tension. “Hopefully this is the one!”

All you have to do is not screw it up. And what are the best two ways not to mess it up?

  • By keeping your mouth shut. That means: don’t talk unnecessary nonsense. Let the other person have a nice chat. For example by asking sincere and exciting questions.
  • Don’t pretend to be different than you are.

You only sabotage your entire date if you pretend to be different than you are. Why? The other person immediately understands. And in the rare case that the other person doesn’t realize it, your true nature will show itself in one of the following dates … If it could get that far.

Especially women feel everything. They feel it effortlessly when you are not yourself. There is no escape.

So be yourself during the date. In fact, this is all you need to do for a successful date. Well, almost the only thing then. The other thing is …

Tip 5 – Take a shower… Brush your teeth… Take care of yourself!

date tips

What do these things all have in common?

  • Showering
  • Toothbrushing
  • Brushing your tongue
  • Shave
  • Go to the hairdresser
  • Dress in nice clothes
  • Go to the manicure / pedicure
  • Wear jewelry / accessories
  • Bring deodorant
  • Bring peppermints

This is the answer: these are all things you can do yourself. They are within your reach. This will make you attractive. By the way, a small correction: these things make you attractive and it is unacceptable if you don’t do them because anyone can do these things.

Tip 6 – Talk about emotions and feel emotions with each other

It is a bit difficult to fall in love with someone if the other person does not stir up emotions in you. After all, being in love is itself an emotion. How can you ensure this? A very simple way is to talk about emotions. For example:

  • “It must have made you very happy!”
  • “I was really disappointed that I was not allowed to go on holiday …”

Another way is to arouse emotions through the things you do. Feel free to play with emotions, no matter how silly it may be. Dates are fun, exciting and emotional events so it is allowed! An example…

For the appointment, you call the other person, for example: “I was on my way and something intense happened: an oil tanker fell over so I will be late.” Then walk in (do this overly seriously) and laugh at his / her response. If the other person doesn’t like the joke, laugh and leave. It’s about you being able to be yourself.

Tip 7 – ‘Fast forward’ your date: do things that only people in a relationship would do for each other

What are things your partner would do for you? Hand something, give a tissue or remove a stain from your shirt. How can you use this power? Ask your date to do little sweet things for you. This automatically creates a reality where it seems as if you are already partners!

For example, if you have a cooking date, ask your date to put together a playlist, get the wine, or do something else that will make you work together for each other. Or borrow each other’s accessories, because that is also typically something a couple would do.

Another example of this: partners are a team and do mischief together. This also contributes to this ‘relationship effect’. Playing mischief together is always fun, but for that you both have to have the playful nature. This is also more suitable if you have been dating for some time. For inspiration you can look in the article with relationship tips .

Tip 8 – It’s a date: this means that flirting is allowed (and even should be done)

It would be crazy if there was no flirting throughout the date. So feel free to flirt! In fact, if you don’t flirt on a date, the date will be relegated to a platonic affair. Then you just become friends.

Here are the 68+ best flirting tips to use.  Touch is perhaps the most important. Just holding hands  and teasing is a simple example. Another example of flirting is giving sweet compliments. In fact, bring it a little silly and you’ve already created magic!

Tip 9 – Everything is allowed, nothing is mandatory

dating tips

Don’t put pressure on it: nothing has to be done, but everything can happen at the same time. For example, it is quite normal to have a kiss on a first date, but if it doesn’t happen, then that’s okay! Feel this constantly and always put comfort and pleasure first.

Tip 10 – Climb!

Find things to climb. There is nothing more romantic than having reached the top together and enjoying the view.

Tip 11 – Put three dates in one with a ‘tiny tour’

Do you know who stays in one place all night? Oldies and shy people who do not have or cannot arouse any feeling of adventure at all. Don’t be that boring person.

So do a ‘Tiny Tour’: stay in one place for a maximum of 20 minutes and take your date to as many locations as possible in the shortest possible time frame. Now you enter the new location as a close-knit team and no longer as strangers! This requires leadership qualities: ‘That’s where we’re going, it’s fun there!’

Tip 12 – Show that you are social with the environment

Don’t just pay attention to your date. That is unattractive. When someone else comes in, you give the other person full attention too, until you are alone again.

Also show that you are social towards everyone. You can even manipulate this for fun: come to the date location ahead of time and befriend the bartender. Give him a big tip and ask, ‘Can you help me? By the way my name is…. I pay in advance for the drink and this is extra for you. Could you let the drink be ‘on the house’ tonight? ‘

The best thing is of course if you can arrange it without money – and only with your charm, but feel free to do such a stunt! In any case, the point is that you also show interest in other people in the environment – so that you don’t seem to have just slimy attention to the other person.

Tip 13 – Tease with love, warmth, softness and humor

dating tips

You can also read all about teasing in the article with 55+ flirting tips.  For example, if you have a cooking date, touch the other person regularly teasingly and clearly criticize the cooking just serious: ‘Come here, you are not doing that well. I’ll do it again! No, come here with that lettuce, women and cooking … ‘

And emphasize your warmth by making loving eye contact and suddenly kissing. “That will continue to simmer, come here.”

Tip 14 – Don’t be too nice

You really don’t have to be an asshole or bitch to date successfully, but don’t be too nice. Nobody likes pleasers. You should not please , but tease (see previous tip).

Tip 15 – Don’t sell the perfect picture with the perfect sales pitch

Are you just telling the other how perfect, fun and interesting your life is? Then you are not only lying to you with a sales pitch, but then you also miss a gigantic opportunity to make a deep connection with the other …

Deep connections can arise as soon as someone tells you that something is not going well. This allows the other person to find recognition and / or share something vulnerable himself . Then suddenly love and connection arise.

So feel free to let us know if you’re a boring workaholic, don’t go out that often when you would like to or have very gloomy days.

Life’s difficult moments bring people (like loved ones) together.

Also make sure that the other person does not do this. Is your date very charming at the beginning – and is it decreasing because the story they wrote about themselves turns out to be wrong? Then run away, because that’s a hallmark of narcissism.

Tip 16 – Especially for men, but women can also do this: always look for a solution to obstacles


Is there an obstacle? Then you are the hero who provides the solution.

  • For example, if you are not familiar with the area …
  • If you can’t find something …
  • If you don’t know what the intention is for a festival, activity, booth or workshop …

Then ask for directions or ask an employee what the intention is , instead of doubting. Put an arm around her and just ask someone.

Make decisions, lead, stick to your decision, make decisions and resolve situations. When you look at masculine and feminine energy, this is a property of masculine energy.  However, this has nothing to do with gender: women can also step into this ‘masculine energy’ and take charge.

Tip 17 – Don’t automatically like the other person: ask questions

Do you already like the other person without having earned it? That’s superficial. It feels like you like every person of the opposite sex by default, just because they are someone of the opposite sex.

Have you been rejected after a date? Chances are, you haven’t made any effort to really get to know the other person. So ask at least a few questions to find out if the other person lives up to your values.

Tip 18 – Are you a casual dater? Then please let that know on the first date

first date tips

This tip is unfortunately essential to mention because so often we hear stories of women who, against all odds, are suddenly left after a few dates, after she’s been to bed with hum or even after a few years… when she thought they both wanted to grow old together.

What is going wrong here? Nothing at all! Except that one sentence should have been said on the first date, “I’m a casual dater.” If you already know in advance that you do not want to go too far with the other person, then it is really nice to be clear about this immediately.

Because we have all agreed in our society that if you don’t say anything, the other person can assume that you want a serious relationship. So when two people start dating without caveats, they normally look for a deep, intimate bond of life in which they share everything and stay together as long as possible to build something together.

If you don’t want that, you say so in advance . “I’m a casual dater. I’m not looking for a serious relationship.” Now there are always people who say, “Yeah, but I’m not going to put labels on things like this.” That may be a nice thought, but in such cases clear communication in advance is simply very desirable.

For the sake of completeness, a definition of casual dating : this is not a ‘booty call’ or ‘free escort service’. Casual dating means that you are just dating, dining together, having fun activities, getting drinks together, having good conversations, making an effort for each other, going out and making love… minus one or more aspects of the following three items:

  • There are certainly no expectations for the future. If one of the two does have those expectations for the future, it is annoying to find out later that the other had never wanted to live up to those expectations from the very beginning. By being clear about this together right away, you cannot be disappointed or have false hopes for a future together. In a normal relationship it is normal for both partners to see where the ship is stranded, but casual dating is really another story in which that future is already ruled out in advance. If both partners want to live in a serious relationship in the now and enjoy each other while seeing where the ship ends up … fine! If one is already sure that he wants something else later … certainly not good to keep it hidden. Let us know so that there is clarity and then there is nothing wrong.
  • You are not partners of each other. Partners share everything with each other, respond directly to messages, know each other’s innermost soul / heart, touch each other and feel each other intimately.
  • You are not exclusive to each other, so you can date others too.

So, hopefully this tip will avoid a lot of hassle and pain.

Tip 19 – Always thank your date

Thank your date! Especially if the other person doesn’t want the next date or if you haven’t kissed on the first date (yet) when you had hoped for it.

Tip 20 – And after the date? No games: tell the other person honestly what you feel

first date afterwards

Don’t play games at the expense of love. Free yourself…

  • “Shouldn’t you wait until the other person sends a message first?” No! Do it yourself first. Say that you feel good about the other person and that you want to hang out together again.
  • “I can’t wait to call the other person, but I have to wait so that I don’t seem too claiming … and maybe I shouldn’t call at all.” Call!
  • “Shouldn’t you wait a day before sending messages?” No! Send it now.

This makes you brave. And you deserve it. You deserve to know where you stand. And finally it feels great! It is a great experience to express your love. The chance to look into the other’s eyes as they receive that emotion from you! You could never get another chance just like that … life is now.

For many people this is a vulnerable act. Even though you’re scared to do it … do it anyway and don’t shy away from feelings. You may want to be completely open about your feelings, including your insecurity.

“We have met twice so far. Right now I feel very insecure and uncomfortable because I want to connect with you. Would you like to go out again together?”

So again:

  • If you really like someone, tell the other person.
  • If you miss the other person, call.
  • If you want to see the other person, invite him / her.
  • If you want to touch the other, go for it.
  • And if you love the other, tell them.

On your luck!

About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!

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