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How To Use NLP To Make Someone Fall In Love With You

How To Use NLP To Make Someone Fall In Love With You

How do you make a woman / man fall in love with you using NLP? How do you win a man for you? How do you drive a man or woman crazy with desire? How can you make someone fall in love with you through the magic of NLP? Here you will learn 21 tips to generate interest and love in someone with advanced NLP techniques…

Contents of this page:

Warning 1: these are tricks … and you never need tricks (although they can have a nice effect)

The tricks in this article were only written for the thousands of people like you who Googled “How to make someone fall in love with NLP” and even “How to make someone fall in love with you with voodoo?” You shouldn’t really ask those kinds of questions, because that’s not how it works. The truth is, you shouldn’t use these kinds of advanced techniques. The basics are enough to make someone fall in love with you. The basics are:

  • Be yourself.
  • Be well cared for.
  • Doing and saying sweet things.
  • Having a passion in your life.
  • Touch, hold hand, give hugs, dare to go for the first kiss.

It was already. You really don’t need anything else. The techniques from this article are completely unnecessary – advanced tricks that you could use as an experiment once the above points are in order for you.

Here you will find advanced tips. The basics to make someone fall in love with you are in the bullets above and in another article: you should actually read this article with 59+ ‘normal’ flirting tips if you are taking this seriously. If you’re already confident and want to experiment for fun, read the rest of this article for the advanced – and therefore really unnecessary – tips.

Warning 2: This makes people fall in love with you, but it is sophisticated and unnecessary


The tips in this article are advanced techniques. So all these techniques require a lot of practice. You will almost always be incompetent with these techniques when you perform them the first few times. You may even have to come up with a ‘script’ for yourself the first few times because you can’t improvise with it yet. The great thing is that these techniques are so strong that they even work if they are poorly executed.

These techniques are also completely unnecessary to make someone fall in love with you. Make sure your foundation is in order in terms of personal care, self-confidence and social skills. That is enough. Only when you’re curious about more can you try these advanced ‘tricks’ (because they are) for fun.

The tricks of this article are ‘back door techniques’ with which you try to simulate the same effect ‘under the radar’ as real falling in love. Now I probably don’t have to explain to you that simulating falling in love is not as useful if … you can just go for real falling in love. So just use these tricks as an experiment and don’t take it as a serious ‘method’.

Warning 3: Close this screen now (seriously) and just improvise

This article will get you nowhere. This is a serious comment. Now close your screen, step up to the one you like, improvise, do something sweet, go wrong and enjoy. Enjoy your own strength.

Anyway, you used Google to come up with this article, so you had a certain need for some advanced tools … How do you get her / her to like you? Let’s go to the tips anyway …

The great technique: making someone fall in love with you? Create dynamics and a rollercoaster of emotions

The advanced way to make someone fall in love with you is to create dynamism . The main technique to achieve this is called  “fractionation.”  This is an NLP technique that is not even taught in most NLP training courses because it can be dangerous.

Fractionation is the (abrupt) alternation of two extremes and is one of the most drastic and effective techniques you can apply in your communication. You can, for example, achieve alternating two extremes when you keep alternating contrasting emotions. Just think of a rollercoaster of emotions.

And that works out well! Love is not something that stands still. It is exciting. It’s dynamic. It’s tingly. It’s emotional! You stimulate this with the  ‘fractionation’ technique .

This creates dynamics, movement, tension and stimulation in an interaction. It is important that you switch abruptly , so without smooth transitions ‘switch off’ and dive back in again.

You can ‘fractionate’ in many ways. Below are the different ways:

Tip 1 | Talk → silence → talk → silence

how do you make him fall in love

All these tips revolve around fractionation: quickly alternating between contrasts. The first way to do this is to alternate between talking and silence.

This simply means that you regularly have silence tolerance . Sometimes just shut up. There is enough talking in every conversation, so you can make it extra dynamic by sometimes dropping or allowing a silence … and then immediately pick up the talking again.

With fractionation it is important that you switch quickly and that you switch abruptly. Suddenly let a silence fall that surprises the other. If you want to start talking again after a silence, do not build it up quietly and softly, but suddenly continue at the same volume and with the same energy as before the silence.

If you take this a step further, you actually drop longer pauses in which there can be eye contact and you can let the other person’s breath stop.

Tip 2 | Conversation → kissing party → continue the conversation as if nothing had happened

If you’re in the middle of a conversation or anecdote, you can just decide to kiss the other person. Then just continue to talk as if nothing had happened.

This makes it extra mysterious and dynamic . It takes away all power and mystery if you dwell long (or at all) on the kiss that just happened. Even if it is your first kiss, don’t take away the magic by literally acknowledging the kiss, just keep doing what you did before and let the tension of the kiss linger in the background.

Do you remember? You want dynamism (in emotions) to make someone fall in love: from one extreme (a vulnerable, sweet and exciting kiss) to the other (suddenly relaxed and continuing with the anecdote you were talking about) and then back to the next kiss!

Tip 3 | Emotion A → Emotion B → Emotion A → Emotion B

roller coaster of emotions how to make her fall in love

Can you direct your topics of conversation so that you can alternate extremely positive, energetic, joyful feelings with sad, vulnerable feelings ? Then you are doing an excellent job!

Because with whom are you so joyful and at the same time a little bit sad and vulnerable ? You only have that with special people. People who get ‘it’. Because then suddenly love and connection appear. In difficult moments in life, people (such as lovers) come together. “Come here, what’s going on?” Happiness is achieved together.

It rarely if ever happens in our life that we experience such a rollercoaster of emotions in a few minutes … At least it happens when we are in love! Let that be the case with you!

Tip 4 | Talk about: environment → each other → environment → each other

If you are talking to someone at a party and you have a connection, then chances are that you have been talking about each other (yourself and the other) for a while . You are talking about your studies, work, hobbies, etc.

You can fractionate this by also briefly mentioning something about the environment in which you are in between. If you suddenly hear one of your favorite songs starting up, make an enthusiastic comment about it … and then go back to your conversation … and after a while you turn your attention back to something in the room …

In this way your attention is continuously moving up and down from each other to the environment and back to each other. Extra dynamics and extra incentives!

Tip 5 | Place ‘open loops’: conversation topic → other conversation topic → other conversation topic

conversation topic exchange in love

Conversation topics can also be fractionated. By not always sticking to one topic, but instead switching topics at a rapid pace, you keep the conversation dynamic, varied and full of unfinished storylines.

There are three things to remember. The second is …

What is an ‘open loop’? I sometimes call it the GTST technique. You are going to use ‘ cliff hangers ‘ in your conversation topics.

Always stop before you have passed the peak of a storyline. Just start another topic of conversation or turn your attention to an interesting distraction. In this way you give your conversation partner the opportunity to remain curious and interested about how your storyline ends.

You also make it easier for your conversation partner to go back to all those different unfinished topics later on, and in that way you let the other person invest in you.

If you don’t use open loops, you will have all the standard conversation topics completed in no time:

“What are your hobbies?”

“I have three hobbies. My hobbies are playing the piano, rowing and partying.”

“Hmmm, that was a complete answer. Now I know exactly what all of his hobbies are. What more can I ask? I’ve already asked about his hobbies and I know all of them now, so I can’t go back to that. . “

If you do use open loops, there are always so many open, unfinished topics of conversation that it will seem like you can never stop talking:

“What are your hobbies?”

One of my hobbies is playing the piano. I have finally taken lessons for three weeks and that has made my dream come true! “

“Hmmm, he said: one of my hobbies, then he must have more hobbies. I can ask about that later too!”

In short: don’t give up everything, but deliberately leave holes in your information so that the other person can seize many easy opportunities to show extra interest in you. This is an attitude that makes people interested in you anyway. So let them guess and fantasize about your emotions, events and how you are put together. Be a little hard to arrows.

Tip 6 – Serious conversation → suddenly a compliment → and back to the conversation

You are just in a serious conversation and both of you are very interested. Beautiful. Interrupt this with an abrupt compliment (click here for inspiration) . Do not dwell on it for too long, but continue your conversation afterwards as if nothing had happened.

Tip 7 – Rapport → no Rapport → Rapport → no Rapport

report infatuation

Great if you have a click with each other (with a fancy word: ‘ rapport ‘)! However, if you have continuous rapport with each other, that’s not really dynamic. Fortunately, the great thing about rapport is that you can turn it on and off like a flashing light.

Just by turning your body away from the other, you can turn off this magical connection for a while. Bonus: stop at the peak. The next time you step back into that magical connection with each other, the click has become stronger.

Tip 8 – More ways to make someone fall in love using fractionation

  • This that…
  • Here and there…
  • This part … that part …
  • This topic … that topic …
  • Here a drink … there a walk … there dinner … and somewhere else coffee and dessert …
  • Emotion X… Emotion Y…
  • First person … second person (empathy) … third person …
  • Consciously … unconsciously …
  • Now … later … in the past …
  • Part of you think … and part of you think …
  • Eyes open … and closed …
  • Create report… break report
  • Vague … specific … vague … specific call to action …
  • Conscious attention … unconscious … (didn’t you notice Marie?)
  • Attention here… attention there…
  • This storyline … that storyline … that storyline … oh look over there … back to that storyline …
  • Confusion… clarity

Tip 9 – Talk about a different time and space… where love will explode!

You can get away with anything if you’re talking about a different time and space. This is the power of metaphors ! You are talking about a completely different situation, but secretly it is about your situation …

  • “Do you know how they dance in Rotterdam? There the woman presses the man’s head against the woman’s head. Extra beautiful and loving. Just look, I will do it for you.”
  • “Indeed! Petje and Marietje have found a dream partner in each other, didn’t you? You know what kind of something sweet I saw them do recently? Look, he stood against a wall and she was allowed to lean all over in his arms. I’ll do it with you for how that went back then. “

Tip 10 – Give hidden suggestions to make the other person fall in love


It is interesting to let the other feel through hidden suggestions that love is emerging, without being noticed by the other.

For example, you can ‘package’ the following suggestions:

  • You suddenly feel in love.
  • Fall in love.
  • You realize that now you are simply falling hopelessly in love.
  • You really want it.
  • It’s on.
  • It is happening now.
  • You really want to have what you see in front of you now.
  • Surrender to temptation.
  • We touch each other on a deeper level.
  • I think you are stunning.
  • Honey.
  • That moment when you meet someone and stop your breath … That you feel yourself at the same time your strongest and most vulnerable. You feel a connection that is real and inevitable … Appreciating the beauty of the moment. Wouldn’t it be nice to be with a {man / woman} who makes you feel very comfortable and whose voice can soothe you and stimulate you intensely … Warm, intense pleasure … Deep inside you … I have feeling like that’s happening right now, with me …
  • Or an exciting story (be creative in this) …

Anyway, how do you package these suggestions in such a way that they are hidden? Talk about a different context, i.e. a different time, space, subject and / or person, and incorporate the suggestions in a creative way, for example by playing with sentence constructions:

  • How many fish would they have here? I estimate there are about 100. What do you think? What do you estimate ? / How many would there be, honey ?
  • And when you are busy with your passion, with what you prefer to do … and you feel all those nice feelings now with me , it is true that I sometimes have a passion that I would like to do all day long. ..

For example, use a sentence that starts with the I or he form:

  • And I, just go for it, Debbie!
  • And I, of course , let it happen, Debbie!
  • He, get obsessed / fascinated / in love, Debbie!
  • And then x happened and I always do the following: (I) allow these feelings to develop / grow stronger, Debbie.
    And realize this is happening.

You can also use a whole verb, because a whole verb can actually also be used as an imperative mood:

  • I once wanted to pair a friend and a girlfriend of mine. A friend of mine, Sara, really wanted a boyfriend, and then I said to Sara: why don’t you date Maurits, then you can just become curious / fall in love, Debbie, with the boy you see in front of you. So that’s what I said to Sara when we went through her date.

You can also package these kinds of suggestions very well in quotes.

  • I had met someone today, and we had a little talk, and that other person looked at me and said to me, ‘Wow … I’m really glad I met you …’
  • John was a good friend of my grandfather, and he had a beautiful boat called Marie Xeleste, and on that boat worked a very special boy … You could look at him … And simply fall in love … Debbie … Now …. To what you now see before you …
  • You really should have a coffee with me , the 6-year-old girl said to her doll, isn’t that cute.
  • My 4 year old nephew was playing with a girl and he said to her: you are very beautiful.
  • A friend of mine always says, A person can feel happiness / excitement , Debbie.

By giving such hidden suggestions, you have simply planted seeds. After that, it is important that you actually get started by actually flirting with the other and asking them out, for example.

Want to learn more about this technique? Then read the article about subliminal influence . Be sure to continue on to the next tip, where you will learn to apply this technique in the most advanced way.

Tip 11 – Associate your hidden suggestions with hand gestures (‘markers’)

how do you make the other fall in love

Just a few simple, but effective examples:

  • If you are giving a hidden message such as: “You want what you see before you so badly” , then also point to yourself.
  • Or, “Such a real, magical connection sometimes happens between two people.” , then point your hand back and forth between the two of you.

And again, you should n’t even be using all these techniques  consciously  , but unconsciously , if this is natural and spontaneous for you.

For example, I recently had a normal conversation in which I said at one point that I had fallen in love with my work. Suddenly a light came on in me: I decided to continue talking about how much I had fallen in love with my work. In the meantime, I looked at my female conversation partner with just a little more focus so that I  could tell the next story unconsciously (!) Without any difficulty .

“So I really fell in love with my work … Sometimes you have to just, you want what for you is so incredibly happy to have … Sometimes you just get completely fascinated and in love with what you now see before you . ” Meanwhile, I associated this with the two of us by pointing my hand back and forth between the two of us. “I find when that happens between people, things, or people and their work … you feel a connection that is inevitable … Now.  And because I had fallen in love with my work, I really wanted to perform for my boss. “

Tip 12 – Wrap your hidden love suggestions in a ‘nested loop’, the most advanced technique …

make love nested loop

Do you know the movie ‘Inception’? In that movie, they could step into another person’s dream, and then they could even step into the dream of the dream. There they planted a suggestion . The nested loop technique is actually exactly the same. This allows you to plant the suggestion of falling in love in another person.

In one of the previous tips you already learned the ‘open loop’. If you haven’t read it, do it now. A nested loop is a combination of three ‘open loops’ and a hidden suggestion.

Start an anecdote and stop at the peak . You now have a ‘cliffhanger’. Then you move on to the beginning of a new anecdote . In this way, open three stories and always stop at the peak. You now have three unfinished stories.

This looks like this:

  1. Start story 1. Stop at the peak / cliffhanger.
  2. Start story 2. Stop at the peak / cliffhanger.
  3. Start story 3. Stop at the peak / cliffhanger.

After Story 3’s cliffhanger, suggest that the other person is falling in love / excited / fascinated. You do this with  direct hypnotic suggestion (s) . This is very simple: just say what the other should feel.

For example:

You suddenly start to fall in love … what you see before you now, you really want! It’s on! It is really happening!

Why can you get away with this? You are telling stories! For example, your third story could be about a sweet baby kid who fell in love with a baby cow and the baby kid said to himself, “You start falling in love all of a sudden … what you see right now, you want. please! It’s on! It’s really happening! “

The listener of your story will let all of this in without critical thinking because it is just a story anyway. But in the meantime, the suggestion and feeling of falling in love does enter the subconscious of your listener …

Now that you’ve given the hypnotic crush commands and suggestions, end all the stories in reverse. It looks like this:

  1. Close Story 3.
  2. Close Story 2.
  3. Close Story 1.

How exactly this works, why this works and how you do this, you will learn in detail in this article about telling metaphors.

Tip 13 – The magical ‘report bubble’: suddenly you can mirror and make longer eye contact

make report bubble fall in love

‘Rapport’ is an NLP technique that allows you to make a strong connection and sense of trust with someone in seconds. The great thing about ‘rapport’ is that completely different rules apply when you are flirting!

  • For example, if you want to build rapport with someone in a normal situation, it is important that you do not use the mirror technique too much . As soon as the other person notices that you are mirroring, all connection is suddenly gone.
  • Also, maintaining eye contact for too long can cause trust to suddenly disappear because it is not appropriate.

When flirting you can completely forget that ! Then the tension / attraction is very much strengthened when you are literally mirroring each other. This way you can easily create a ‘magic bubble’ with only the two of you in it.

Once at a party I decided to walk up to a group of people and have a chat with everyone. When I started a conversation with the tallest lady in the group (of course last), I saw that she started fiddling with her hand at chest height out of love. I decided to do this too, right at chest height. In a normal (!) Conversation this is disastrous , but at that moment we looked each other in the eye and time seemed to stand still.

I hadn’t asked her out and I let it go, but a few weeks later I suddenly got the message on Facebook:

‘Have a drink in bar {x}? ?

It seems so cliché, but without literally mirroring this would not have been possible. It leaves an indelible impression – again: only when flirting and not in other situations.

Tip 14 – Use the logical levels

The logic levels model teaches us that we normally prefer to start every conversation on the surface. This ensures a smooth start to a conversation.

Subsequently, this model teaches us to unnoticeably send the conversation upwards through those superficial levels to deeper topics, so that you can make a deeper connection with each other.

You can read how to use the logical levels in a social context and why it is important to follow this model in this article about connecting with people.

Tip 15 – The ‘sliding’ anchor to induce falling in love (shocking, but effective)!

slideing anchor

You will learn what an anchor is in this article , but let’s first look at my favorite anchor variation: the sliding anchor. Think of it as a volume knob that you can slide. You can strengthen and weaken a sense of fascination and excitement.

How are you doing this? Find something you can use as your ‘volume button’ aka ‘slide’ to ‘slide’ with it. Let’s take the example of when the two of you sit at a table on a date. Then you can play a bit with your finger on the table by drawing small circles on the table with your finger in a seductive way.

During the conversation you will discuss exciting emotions, but also neutral or boring emotions. When the topic of conversation – and thus the feeling you have – becomes more and more exciting, you slide your finger closer to the other person while still drawing circles on the table. When the topic of conversation becomes neutral or boring again, you take your finger away from the other person.

In this way you have created a kind of volume knob. A few minutes later you have an ‘anchor’ that you can use whenever you want: the closer your finger gets to the other, the more aroused the other gets. The Pavlov effect in practice!

Tip 16 – A regular kinesthetic anchor

You can also use a regular kinesthetic anchor. Every time the other laughs and feels excitement in the conversation, a sliding anchor would bring you closer and closer with your stimulus (your playing finger, for example).

With a ‘regular’ kinesthetic anchor, you simply touch the other briefly when the other smiles. For example at the elbow. This causes the other person’s subconscious to associate those exciting and happy feelings with this touch of yours. If you keep building this up a number of times according to the criteria for a successful anchor , you can bring the other person into this pleasant state almost on command afterwards.

When did you feel very in love? That is amazing. I bet he / she really makes you feel good. Listen, my friend says that when she feels a crush on a man, she feels it in her throat and it moves up to the tip of her head. Do you mind if I ask how it felt when you were in love? “

Maybe the other person will say, “Well, I felt it flutter in my stomach, and it moved to my throat.”

As this person narrates this, he / she will relive the experience of this attraction. Besides, this works with any person. An easy way to create a feeling is to ask about a previous experience with that feeling. We have just done that. As a result, the other experiences this again.

Now you are going to find a way to anchor this. “That’s really interesting because it’s really different from my girlfriend’s experience. So let me get this straight. For you it was like you felt it in your stomach (now lightly touch the other person’s stomach on), and it moved up to your throat (and traced that movement). Is that right? “

“Yes, that’s exactly it!” And now the other has relived that attraction, but with your non-verbal touch that serves as an anchor and is now connected to that feeling in love.

Tip 17 – Use the secret power of ‘pretending’ to fall in love

pretend to be in love

This is an important technique from Timmy, who I’m going to tell you about in a moment. It is the ‘what if’ technique, or the wonder question.

The fact is that when someone pretends to be in love, there is no difference at all from the experience of actually being in love. So it is an easy way to evoke love. How can you apply this?

  • If you are a woman and you want to seduce a man, ask, “Suppose your dream woman came in here, how would you seduce her?” Let him show it to you. This seems harmless because it appears to be about ‘a third person’, but our subconscious brain cannot distinguish between ‘what if’ and what is real …
  • “Let’s pretend we’re boyfriend and girlfriend for the next five minutes.”
  • Imagine we’re kissing.
  • What would you do if …
  • Would you ever …

Tip 18 – Talk about ‘sexy’ and ‘sneaky’ topics

Talking about ‘sexy topics’ and talking about ‘doing things secretly’ is exciting.

  • “Sexy Topics”: These are any topics that are slightly associated with sex. Topics such as piercings, tattoos, parties and drinks… For example: “Do you like the taste of beer?” “Do you have tattoos or piercings?” “Do you like parties?” “Do you like staying up late?” Do you already understand? You don’t ask questions like this to just a friend, and yet it is very subtle.
  • Conversation topics that are metaphorically related to doing things that are actually not allowed. “How old were you when you had your first drink?” “Did you often get into trouble in high school?” “Did you ever take drugs?” Anything that puts you in a childhood state of mind. Related topics are glitter or things that were not allowed, such as candy (what was your favorite candy as a kid?)
  • Jokes. Because laughing and giggling is sexy. Then when you look into each other’s eyes, and even touch each other lightly, you see the softness and spontaneity in each other’s soul. Moreover, laughter is something that is spontaneous. And falling in love is also something that happens spontaneously. It has to do with each other.

Tip 19 – Presuppose a lot of love

What do you notice about the following sentence? “What are you and I going to do together this Saturday?” You have not asked with that sentence if you are going to do something together. You skipped that step and you immediately asked what you are going to do together. We call this the presupposition technique . Handy, isn’t it?

  • “You are asking a good question! This is really very interesting. There are 3 very important points that answer that. By the way, I am going to sit next to you in the meantime.”
  • “You really have to use enough sunscreen when applying my back. Too little sunscreen will lose the protection.”
  • “Look, these people want to drop by, so before I ask you out in a minute, we have to make room for these people who walk by.”
  • “What are you and I going to do together this Saturday?”
  • “But you must have good taste when I come to dinner with you tonight.”

Tip 20 – Feel free to use other methods to evoke falling in love

In this article, you have learned all kinds of ways to evoke the mood of falling in love so far. However, there are many more ways to evoke moods.

The beast important method is to go back in your mind to an experience in which you have experienced that feeling before. So ask the question, “When were you really, really in love?”  Ask more questions about that situation and the feeling will come back strongly to the other. You can read more ways to evoke moods at the bottom of this article.

These were the advanced NLP techniques … Have fun experimenting!

Have fun with this, and again: if you can NLP, if you master these skills at an unconscious level and if your self-confidence is in order, you could start this as an experiment. If not, first read here how you can just flirt without all this hassle with these 66+ tips.

About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!

1 Comment

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