3 best pickup lines ever: the first thing to say when flirting…

What are good opening lines aka pickup lines? How do you address a woman / man you like? Here you will find the best opening sentences ever  with examples for women and men, processed in a step- by- step plan that has been extensively tested and refined.

You really don’t need this article

Serious. This article is not going to help you. We’d better tell you now than lie to you. The steps and tips are just some of the things that have worked well for us – and with tens of thousands of people each month Googling for opening lines , they are seemingly in high demand. We want those readers, so let’s get started with our tips.

“I have to have original opening lines: ‘How are you’ isn’t unique, is it?”

Get this thought out of your mind immediately. Your assignment is to address someone authentically. Say something simple like “Hi, how are you?” An ordinary sentence, which the other has heard many times, but he / she has never heard it from you  , so it is unique.

You bring yourself. Not an act! And that makes “How is’ just unique. You don’t need any funny or original opening lines at all!

The 3 best opening sentences for the night (when going out)

The ‘normal’ opening line is best: not try-hard, not far-fetched and socially acceptable

A woman – and the same goes for men – just wants a nice man who is well dressed, groomed and normal. If that’s right (and it’s not difficult!), You are already in and just take a normal approach . This works because there are already so many guys out there who are weird, try-hard, drunk or unkempt.

You might think, “But those opening lines aren’t unique at all!” That may be the case, but you yourself are already unique! The other has never heard of  you  . So they are unique. Plus, they are socially acceptable, not far-fetched, and not try-hard.

You just need these 3 opening sentences at night

In addition to inviting someone to dance, these are the only 3 opening lines you need because they are the best:

1. The standard / formal sentence: “Hi, I’m …”

The ‘normal’ opening line may be a bit too formal, but it’s great if it makes you feel relaxed. “Hello, how are you doing?” “(Hi who are you?” “(Hi,) I am {your own name.}”

Just make sure to use this after you’ve already talked about something natural. Please don’t ever go cold with an extremely formal introduction like, “Hi, my name is …”

2. Nice and direct: the wrong opening sentence

Or have one ‘wrong’ opening sentence in your repertoire. It sets the tone that you are coming to flirt and that is why it is good to use such an opening line.

Examples: “Are you Google, because you are everything I am looking for.” Or, “Well, you’re pretty.” Or throw an ice cube on the ground and say, “Well, the ice is broken.” or, “How heavy is a polar bear? Heavy enough to break the ice.” Or you look at the clothing label and say, “Made in heaven.”

3. The best option: no opening sentence at all

The best thing is: skip the word ‘hi’ completely and avoid it, so immediately say a creative sentence that responds to the here-and-now and the perception of the other person.

So just talk as if you are talking to acquaintances / friends about something that is happening in the group or environment – as if talking to people is normal – and it is. Only later it is time for the formal name exchange.

You don’t need more. It was already. You have successfully addressed someone. From here you can get some good vibes and continue flirting. Use all the proven effective tips in the flirting article to proceed from this point.

Also keep in mind that it is normal to be rejected nine times immediately before it succeeds a tenth time. Keep giving love. Keep going.

If you want, you can get into the habit of never saying ‘hi’ generically again. This forces you to be alert to what is going on in and around the other person and to fall directly into the action based on that. And if you don’t know what to think of, a simple compliment is always a good idea. ‘You look great.’

Do you also want to be able to address a man / woman during the day with a perfect opening line? Then read on!

Opening sentences step-by-step plan to address someone during the day

It’s not that you can only meet someone during the day through dating sites . You can also be brave yourself. Below you will find a perfect step-by-step plan that I have tested and adjusted until it is guaranteed to work to address someone during the day, for example in the supermarket, at a flower shop or on the street.

Always do something different thatn this step-by-step plan for opening sentences

An important part of this step-by-step plan is that you can (and should!) Deviate at any time to respond in the here and now. In addition, it is important that you always say and do what you actually feel. So even if you don’t dare, you say that honestly to the person you are addressing. You don’t put on an act!

Step 1 – Come everywhere 15 minutes early so you have time for love

Come everywhere 15 minutes earlier so that you can talk to someone along the way. If you do this every day, you will soon succeed.

Step 2 – Have stopping power to address someone

If you want to address someone, you have to be aware that the other is absorbed in his / her own flow or thoughts. The other person can easily get out of that, but you have to do something for that.

Do the following to create stopping power.

• Your energy must be a bit higher than the energy of the other, otherwise the other will not feel convinced to stop: otherwise you will not add any value in terms of energy, so why would the other stop for you? This is only important at the beginning during the actual addressing. After you have the attention after the other, you can be back on your own authentic energy level.
• Never speak to someone while standing behind that person! You can already make your voice heard, but keep walking until you are standing in front of the other. If necessary, gently touch the elbow while positioning yourself in front of the other.
• When someone is walking, his or her legs are automatically walking without the person being aware of it. So if you walk past someone, you can still hope that the other will stop, but you will really have to stand in front of the other so that the legs can no longer automatically continue. Stand straight in front of the other person with a straight stance and your feet forward. Isn’t this intrusive? Not at all, and on the contrary! At least, as long as you stick to the following tip …
• If you decide to stop someone by standing in front of that person, you must have the right to do so. You have the right to do this if you are properly groomed, have nice clothes, smell good and are a normal person. If that’s all right, the other person will always stop for you. If one of those things is wrong, you have no right to stop anyone. Sorry, but all those things are just within your reach, so fix those things first!

Step 3 – Reassure them immediately that this is not cat calling

Immediately show that you are not a cat caller. Speak decently and at the beginning use ‘chic’ and polite words such as ‘Excuse me, miss’ or ‘I had to admit very honestly that I don’t find you particularly unattractive.’ Or, “I had to honestly admit that I find you incredibly attractive, so I had to meet you. Hi, my name is … what’s your name?” Or, “I can see you’re having a very productive break / picnic and I don’t want to disturb you.”

You also reassure the other person by showing that you have social intelligence by acknowledging it when the other person is a bit startled: “Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Step 4 – Address the other person with a statement that cannot be repeated

The very first thing you say must be something that cannot be rehearsed. It is a statement in the here and now . If the other person has a blue coat, you might say, “Lady in the blue coat!” If she has a book in her hands, you might say, “Lady with a very interesting book.” If she is in front of the Burger King, you say, “Lady who is casual in front of the Burger King.” Is she dressed remarkably summery? Then you say that: “Summer-like dressed lady.”

Step 5 – Reassure the other: this is how you do it …

This is very important. When you approach someone, all kinds of possible scenarios haunt the other person’s mind: ‘Where does he come from? Is it a seller? How long has he been chasing me? One hour? Half a day? Or just recently? ‘ You have to fix this.

You solve this immediately by actually telling what you did before, where you stood and what happened next that led you to this person.

‘I was paying for my toothbrush 2 minutes ago (point my arms outstretched in that direction), and then I saw you there too, so I had to walk back to stop you for a moment … (skip to the next step)

Step 6 – Give the (sweet!) Reason why you are addressing the other person

Now is the time to be honest, direct and authentic. Just say you find the other person attractive!

… Because I thought you had a nice appearance! It is different from others.

… Because I thought you looked too cute so I had to come and say hello. You surprised me.

(Or another compliment.)

Step 7 – Have silence tolerance and let go of everything

Now let go of everything you know! Just be still and wait for the other person to respond. Respond to that again in the moment. Precisely because you let go of what you already know, you can respond to the other in the moment. You don’t really need this step-by-step plan from now on! There is always something to see or hear about the other person that you can comment on.

Step 8 – Add these elements if necessary

Is it still a bit quiet and nothing really emerges yet? Then there is a good chance that you are not a match, but it may still be worthwhile to put more energy into it. It’s too early to give up. You can add the following elements / sentences:

• Place a ‘time restriction’. Tell them you have to leave in 10 seconds, but that you are very curious about {new topic of conversation}. This reassures the other enormously, while of course you stay a lot longer than those 10 seconds. “Hey, I only have a minute / I actually have to see my friends in 5 minutes / I’m in a hurry, and I actually wanted to go, but my curiosity still needs to be satisfied / I had to meet you / I had to meet you.”
• Ask these normal questions to start the conversation: “How are you?” ‘How is your day? (Okay? I’ll come and make it even better!) ‘
• You can also always add new topics of conversation: “What do you do if you are not {working / traveling / dancing / charming guys who go by the name Robin?” “What do you do for fun? Does it include an activity in which you experience nice romance with nice guys? “A comment about the environment is also a suitable topic for discussion:” What brings you to this terrible place? “
• You can introduce yourself at any time. “Do you have a name too?”
• Make statements: “You seem like a commercial economics student. You seem like a grown-up 20-year-old … who loves to read. You seem like such a typically strict lawyer. Let me guess: you play the piano! Blonde hair with a toned body … must be a hockey player. You seem like a lawyer. ” Etc. Then you can also go into such a subject with statements: ‘So when you get up in the morning, put on your high heels, a nice suit …’
• Always do and say what you actually feel. Do you think it’s exciting. Say it. Do you feel very nervous? Say it then. Don’t you know what to say? Say it then. Are you very cold? Say it then. If it really took you a lot of effort to address her, say so. ‘If I hadn’t, I would have really beaten myself. Then I just knew I would regret it. ‘ You don’t put on an act. You say what you really feel!

Bonus tips for using this opening sentence step-by-step plan

Tip 1 – Approaching is child’s play: you have zero competition! They are on apps and sites

I have good news for you: With the rise of dating sites and apps, all your competition has disappeared. They are at home and it takes them hours to find matches and make agreements. But not you! You just address someone directly, so you ignore that hassle!

Dating sites / apps take us out of that real life. Personal contact should be normal, but digital contact is unfortunately more normal than addressing someone personally. Create magical moments by simply addressing each other personally. Make your own fairytale!

Tip 2 – Using opening sentences is authentic and it is all you have to do

When you approach someone with an opening line, you’re done impressing. Now you just have to be yourself. You don’t have to do flips, beat dragons, and make super fun jokes so that the other person likes you. A very clumsy conversation might be even better, because it is more real.

This is also a sign of your authenticity and integrity: simply letting you know in a direct way that you like someone. That is the framework that makes everything easier, and it is certainly not at the expense of the tension.

Tip 3 – Feel free to address the other person in a normal way as a courteous, social and easy person

If you are at a party, you can show that you are a social person by having a normal conversation and a short chat with everyone, so that the person you like can first see how social you are with everyone. Moreover, the other sees that you do not only have an eye for him / her. At the end you can ask the other out.

Read here how you  can make contact with everyone in a smooth and courteous way.

Wouldn’t you be happy if someone said to you, “Come and sit here with me, don’t be shy!” Then I have news for you: everyone wants to hear that from someone. So be the one who hands out these spontaneous invitations.

So take advantage of this desire of the other. Nice and direct, positive and full of self-confidence . Internally you are calm and at ease with making contact and with yourself. Your body language is relaxed and charismatic.  You project your verbal message loud, slowly and clearly articulated.

Everyone dreams of such a person approaching them. Which brings us to the next point …

Tip 4 – Everyone wants to be picked up

Everyone just likes or at least finds it interesting to be approached. Men never mind – and really enjoy being approached. Women like it a lot and their heart rate even goes up.

When a single woman sees that a man is looking at her and admiring her that way, she really hopes she will be addressed. And she also expects that there is a real chance that he will actually do that. All reasons to just do it. Do something with it: tell her your interest. The other will be delighted.

“What are you doing?”
“What do you mean, you just called me.”
– The first altercation between Henk Moody and a woman who smiled at him in a bookshop (Californication).

Tip 5 – Do not go too deep while approaching: build up the depth slowly

This is only your first meeting. Don’t start right away with, “What are you doing here on earth?” So stick to superficial things: about the environment, the day and what you do. If you’ve been talking for a while, feel free to ask for his / her personality.

In this way you are also a bit of the ‘buyer’ who decides whether the other person is right for you. “What is your best effort at personality?” An excellent way to gradually introduce a conversation into depth is to use the questions of the logical levels model.

Okay, now I know how to address but how do I ask the other person out?

You now know the best opening lines! You now know exactly how to address yourself, but what then? Read here how to ask someone out!