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How do I find a partner? [12 best tips for getting in a relationship]

How do I find a partner? [12 best tips for getting in a relationship]

Do you think it is time to find a partner and ask yourself: How do I find a life partner? Or are you even feeling desperate for a relationship? Here you will find the best tips and sayings on how to find a serious partner. Read along…

How do you start a relationship? You’re not the only one who finds it difficult

Many people find it difficult to find a partner. For example, many women wonder if they will ever find love again. They want to find a boyfriend and wonder, “How do you get a boyfriend? How do I find a man? Where are the single men now? How do I find true love? How do I find a soul mate?”

Do you feel that everyone has found a suitable and fun partner, except you? Do you fall for bad types too often or does it seem like all the nice men or women are already taken? Let’s go to the tips …

Tip 1 – Want a serious relationship? Be attractive – Be boy or girlfriend material

partner find boyfriend material

Just think for yourself: would you like someone as a partner who is unkempt and plays computer games all day ? That is what is meant by ‘not really being a boy or girlfriend material.’

So make yourself attractive and have your ‘shit’ in order. By the way, that is not that difficult at all and you are probably already boy or girlfriend material. It comes down to just having the discipline to shower, iron, shave and have your income in order . Then you are already a boy or girlfriend material and many potential partners would already want you.

Tip 2 – Where do most people meet their partner? You search for singles everywhere

Singles are everywhere. Colleagues, friends of friends, in clubs … You can also address them anywhere, except when you are at work and the other is a customer. If you can’t wait, you can just approach someone respectfully and enthusiastically at any time on the street, in a supermarket or in a pub. You can read how to do this here.

If you prefer not to stick your head above ground level, you can of course just use a reliable dating site.

Tip 3 – Looking for a partner? Flirt shamelessly and go for what you want

Shame is unhealthy. It stops you from doing what you really want. Don’t be ashamed of your desire for a relationship, but be brave, be vulnerable, ask people out on a date , go on dates (often!) , follow your heart and flirt. How exactly do you do that? Here are the best tips and examples of flirting.

The most important thing is just do what you want: follow your heart. What does your heart say? Blurt it out. Do it. Make that move!

For example, if you are unsure whether you should meet someone for the 4th time a week because that would be too much … Why not? Enjoy the moment and if you want it… Again: why not?

Tip 5 – How does a relationship arise? Naturally…

relationship finding tips

Usually relationships develop organically after a series of dates. There must be a natural bonding process . Asking for an official courtship is – asking if the other wants to have a relationship with you – is usually not good because it puts unpleasant pressure on the other and claims the other, at the expense of all the beautiful and exciting emotions.

A young relationship develops gradually after various dates and joint activities … That certainly does not need to be discussed because the bond that arises from this is presupposed or implied.

“Yeah, let’s make it official” is just a little confirmation of that deep internal decision that has long been born.

Tip 6 – Answer this question: how do I recognize my ideal partner and what do I expect from a relationship?

What does your ideal partner look like? What qualities should he or she have? Both internally and externally? Use this article to describe your ideal partner so that you can recognize them when they pass by. In addition, make it clear for yourself what you expect in a relationship.

So what exactly do you expect? What do you want? This is so powerful because what you expect will come true faster. You can read how that works in the next tip …

Tip 7 – Desperate for a relationship? Test the law of attraction

Law of Attraction Find a partner

The Law of Attraction? Yes, indeed, it is woolly, but hang around for a while. With this you send a kind of prayer / order into the universe. The universe is a great matchmaker. How do you proceed to use the law of attraction in a simple way?

  1. First describe your dream partner. See previous tip.
  2. Expect your dream patner. Do you already have a double bed, extra toothbrush and a special room for a partner? Do you have loving paintings in your house? For example, couples?
  3. Let it go, give everything your dream partner has to give to yourself and live a fun life so that your ‘vibes’ go up.

Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.
– Loretta Young

In the next tip you will find four powerful things you can do. You can find all steps for the law of attraction here.

Tip 8 – Increase your ‘vibes’ to attract your ideal match

  • Enjoy being alone. Are you single? Enjoy it, appreciate yourself, take care of your well-being and develop a loving self-image in this way, because not many nice people want a relationship with someone who is unhappy. Find out more about self-love here.
  • Do you know the saying, “Love doesn’t come to you until you stop looking”? The law of attraction agrees. Cravings for something are translated on an energetic level to shortage, despair and impatience. This vibration is reflected back in your reality. So stop the forced search, feel ‘it’s fine as it is now’, go on a date without expectations, be chill and have patience, but when that one opportunity comes, take it.
  • Write your ‘new story’. What does your ideal (love) life look like? What do you want to experience in a relationship? What qualities do you value in a partner? How do you want to feel and what do you want to enjoy together? Do not consciously write down what you do not want to experience.
  • Make your new story visual , for example by creating images in your head and feeling how things will go in the future. You can also make it visual by placing pictures of it in your home.
  • Now give the new story to yourself. What you would like to receive from a partner, you give to yourself intensively in the coming period. Become the best partner for yourself. This way you become a magnet that attracts the ideal matching partner. That is not a filling but an addition.

The great thing is, when you increase your vibes, you actually don’t even need a partner anymore. You are detached. And then he / she suddenly appears. And rightly so!

Self-love comes first. When the flower sprouts, the bee comes.

Tip 9 – Want to find a partner? Looking for a relationship via the internet

dating find relationship

Finding a partner via the internet is possible. Which dating sites can be trusted? Try to find a good one that you can trust.

Tip 10 – Don’t impress – but do what needs to be done

Finding soulmates in your partner

It’s so important to emphasize: you don’t have to impress each other. Not if you’ve just met or if you’ve been dating for a while. Partners are completely themselves together. And I think you were looking for a partner, right?

If you fly high, you will fall deep.

So you do n’t have to try your best, prove nothing and make no impression. Be normal. The other is just someone – no more, no less – who would like to be with you. And so you make ordinary people special people for each other.

Start a relationship without too many expectations and obligations.

So yes: be open, see the other, think of the other, do your best sometimes . And do your best for once. Without wanting to do everything perfectly. Just have a good time. Nice and boring and modest . You can also give boring answers. Just be together in peace and quiet and do nothing spectacular. Then you are the most beautiful, tough and attractive.

I make you – an ordinary person – special for me. That is love.

At the same time, there are a number of things that you cannot avoid: don’t think that this tip for being ordinary is an excuse to be lazy. Be classy, ​​take some initiative, move things forward, and do something sweet and thoughtful. Those are important things to do – so do them – and stay yourself without making too much of an impression.

You don’t have to have or take care of an ‘exciting’ relationship. If all goes well, you already have an exciting life. Your relationship is not meant to make your life more exciting. Just predictable. Just rest. No fuss.

Tip 11 – Can’t get a relationship? Check out this article on fear of commitment

The presence of fear of commitment can also play a role in finding a partner. Here is a link to an article on fear of commitment.

Tip 12 – Follow a program to improve your dating skills

Do you have absolutely no flirting skills? Just take coaching or a video course to get some extra dating skills. It’s simple: learn a skill and apply it. Then you will get a relationship easyer.

Read this next:  Love Is (Together) Sayings From Kim Casali [Her Most Beautiful Quotes]

On your luck!

About The Author


Hello! Thanks for reading these articles. My intention is to make happiness as simple and clear as posssible. By the way, excuse my English. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. Much appreciated if you use the comments to make suggestions on my grammar. See ya in another blogpost!


  1. Bernard

    Hi Rubin

    A fun and educational website. However, I am missing something that is not highlighted here on your website.
    In today’s society of social media, people are confronted with the inability to find a partner as a result of digital brainwash. By digital brainwash I mean the totally wrong social image that singles get as a result of dating apps and social media platforms. Dating sites are like candy stores, in which a child likes one candy even better than another. It is therefore difficult for the child to make a choice. ESPECIALLY WITH WOMEN (!!!) THIS IS A VERY BIG PROBLEM. Women see and dream UNDERconsciously of the knight on the horse, the eternally faithful man who cares, helps children grow up and is a good loving partner. Who o who should they choose among all those thousands of potential on dating sites? And that is exactly where it goes completely wrong!
    The perception is that there are hundreds of men who are interested in them. Therefore, they have plenty of choice and their subconscious is constantly in despair. Every relationship they enter into is undermined from day 1. The seed of despair had been planted before by social media and dating apps.

    For men, the issue is just as frustrating. They are regarded as utensils. They are just one of the many options available to a woman. Men are classified as wimps in this way. Subordinates. And they feel that, with the result that they are constantly pleasing women. And for them, it is just as difficult to choose from the many women who ALS they connect through dating sites, often when snow in the sun suddenly disappears. A serious relationship cannot be built through this media, not even started. And also for the man, if he succeeded through a dating site, there is an abundance of digital choices if the relationship does not go so well.

    In love? What is that ? Butterflies in the stomach? No way !!! Too many choices. And if one choice goes bad for a while, then another … And so both men and women float on the waves of supposed expectations that dating sites constantly arouse and many end up in divorces, and with children who are victims of this digital account that years ago led to cohabitation, marriage and or even having children.
    Look around you Rubin! In the train. Young people who are in a relationship and sitting next to each other but their only focus is that damn mobile! It is no longer possible to talk to each other or exchange thoughts. Everyone is in their own bubble of 10 cm x 8 cm. The value of truly deeper relationships has been undermined by these means from day 1.

    Now think about how to tackle this problem. Just listen carefully to BNR from yesterday because of it. Valentine.

    Totally twisted thoughts and visions. Young people between 18 and 35 years old are completely lost. And the ones in generations that have gone before them (about 2 generations) are in divorce or have a new partner with a battlefield behind them … And show their children very bad role models, don’t they?

    Is going well. Only if you can break through this circle and really help to find value in relationships can things be rediscovered and perhaps this disaster can be averted in the Netherlands. And I specifically write NETHERLANDS, because this is a Dutch phenomenon.

    Hereby my response to your good site Rubin. Do what you think you can do with it. But be aware that relationship developments in the Netherlands are going completely in the wrong direction due to the existence of dating apps and social media platforms.

    • Rubin Alaie

      Thank you for your useful addition Bernard.